It's really easy to get bitchy with each other in our gay male community. Whether it is on the apps, in relationships, or when we are trying to come out. But what would happen if we worked on the big "E" and I'm not talking about erections. Instead, imagine using EMPATHY to better understand each other as gay men. Empathy Activist Rob Volpe, and author of the book Tell Me More About That: Solving the Empathy Crisis One Conversation at a Time, shares insights on how to be more empathetic and still be your unique and powerful gay male self in a hetero male world.
About Rob
Rob Volpe is an astute observer of life and a master storyteller who brings empathy and compassion to the human experience. As CEO of Ignite 360, he leads a team of insights, strategy, and creative professionals serving the world’s leading brands across a range of industries.

He is the author of Tell Me More About That: Solving the Empathy Crisis One Conversation at a Time. As a thought leader in the role of empathy in marketing and the workplace, he is a contributor to Entrepreneur’s Leadership Network and frequently speaks on the topic at conferences, corporations, colleges, podcasts and with the media.

He is a graduate of Syracuse University’s S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications and lives in San Francisco with his husband and 3 cats.
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210: Stroking the big “E” to get along better as a gay man – Rob Volpe

Great sex. Fun Sex. Sex on your terms, your way. Why is that so hard for so many gay guys to achieve? Because of shame, shame, shame about sex and asking for what you want, not only in sex, but in life. We're breaking the shame game today and inviting you to let your sexual freak flag fly, not matter what your sexual desires might be.
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209: Let Your Sexual Freak Flag Fly – Rick Clemons

Debt. Most Americans, and many, many, many gay men have it. Why? Because we want to live a fabulous life and then we end up fabulously in debt. No fun at all. I know. Been there done that a couple of times. So how do you manage all this and do it with fabulous gay style? Call on the Debt Free Guys - David and John - hosts of the Queer Money Podcast. So let's talk money guys and see what we can do to get you on track and having a powerful relationship with money.
About David & John
With their writing and speaking for DebtFreeGuys.com and Queer Money® podcast, David & John Auten-Schneider help queer people (and allies) live fabulously not fabulously broke. As certified LGBTBEs, they are the queer voice in both personal and business finances.

David and John’s work has appeared on Forbes, Yahoo!Finance, NBC’s Squawk Box and The News with Sheppard Smith, ABC News, Rachel Ray Show and Good Morning America to name a few.

They’ve partnered with some of the best in financial services, including Capital One, Experian, MassMutual, American Express, Prudential. They’ve partnered with some of the best LGBTQ+ organizations including, The Trevor Project, Callen-Lorde, The William Way Foundation, One Colorado and LGBTQ+ centers nationwide.

Their goal is to connect LGBTQ+ people with the information and tool they need to reach financial security.
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208: Gay Men’s Get Out of Debt Guide – David and John Auten-Schneider

I want more. I want to be better. I need something different in my life. Ok, cool. But do you get so obsessed about that as a gay man that you never get where you are going, or get what you are trying to achieve? Well then this podcast can guide get more, better, different with some simple tricks you can implement today.
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207: Breaking the More, Better, Different Cycle For Success – Rick Clemons

Whether it is better sexual health - rock hard erections, stamina, or screwing like a porn star - most gay men want great sex but do they do what they need to do for better sexual health. The answer is "NO!" Here to guide towards better habits and practices, is Dr. Judson Brandeis, Top Urologist in the SF Bay Area, and ally to the LGBTQ community, with ways to improve your health, sex life and even the length and girth of your penis.
About Dr. Brandeis
Dr. Judson Brandeis is honored to have been voted Top Urologist in the SF Bay Area by SF Magazine from 2014 to 2020. In February 2019, he opened his comfortable office in San Ramon, where he focuses his practice entirely on Men’s Sexual Health and Rejuvenation.

BrandeisMD is a national leader in technology and innovations in sexual medicine. Dr. Brandeis is the National Director of Clinical Excellence for GAINSWave and created and runs the SWEET Study, the largest study of Shockwave Therapy for ED ever performed. BrandeisMD was one of the first offices in California for offer PT-141, Oxytocin, and Apomorhine for erectile dysfunction.

Dr. Brandeis created and directed 5 IRB-approved clinical research protocols in sexual medicine, two of which are still active. These include the SWEET Study, the largest study of shockwave therapy use in treating erectile dysfunction (active), SWAP study for Peyronie’s Disease (completed), P-LONG for penile elongation (active), LuBE for improving the intensity of orgasms (completed), and the SURGE study (completed), which tests a transdermal serum to improve penile blood flow in prostate cancer patients.

Dr. Brandeis is a national sexual medicine educator who has run weekend educational seminars all around the country and has created a male sexual medicine curriculum on Teachable.com. Dr. Brandeis is the director of sexual medicine for The Aesthetic Show annual meeting in Las Vegas, as well as author of the ‘Advances in Sexual Medicine’ chapter for the Large Urology Group Practice Association textbook.

A native New Yorker, Dr. Brandeis left the Empire State to attend Brown University to study History before attending Vanderbilt for Medical School. He spent a year at Harvard Medical School doing research sponsored by the Howard Hughes Medical Institute. Finally, Dr. Brandeis finished his formal medical training with 2 years of general surgery and 4 years of Urology training at the World Famous UCLA Department of Urology.
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206: Hacking Your Way To Better Sexual Health For Gay Men– Dr. Judson Brandeis

New Years is just two days away and while we could do, "Tips for making the most of your New Year," instead let's declutter our lives so we can have a great start for making the most of our new year. Here's a no bullcrap way of getting the junk out of your life so you can get focused on what is really important in 2023.
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205: Declutter Your Gay Life For 2023 – RIck Clemons

Instead of getting caught up in your gay life that doesn't please or serve you, go have a stroke. Actually don't. I speak from experience in this podcast about how to stroke other things in life to bring you happiness, rather than dealing with a stroke. Just make sure what you are stroking pays off, and I'm not talking about a money shot!
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204: Stroke This, Not That, And Survive – RIck Clemons

Your partner has cancer, then recovers. Then you have cancer, and recover. Then your partner and pets both pass on. All of this while lovely COVID is reeking havoc on the planet. How do you thrive through this much turmoil? You trust the process and see the beauty in the challenges. Avid listener and beautiful gay man with a soulful heart, Jason Arnold, vulnerably shares his journey of loss and grief and how he is navigating is 40 Plus gay life when most of us would have just said FUCK IT!
About Jason
Jason is cancer survivor, PFLAG Board Member, and a gay guy trying to make the world a better place.
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Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here!

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203: Navigating Loss and Grief of a Partner- Jason Arnold

If I make them happy, then I will be liked. Or even better, if I do this for them then they will do something nice for me. Sound familiar? It's call being a pleaser and as gay men, we have tried to please everyone else, hiding our true self, and then when we come out, it doesn't end, until you confront the pleaser within, and fix that madness. Today we explore who to take your pleaser saboteur and put him in the right place to make you please yourself while finding the right way to please others - in a healthy way.
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202: Overcoming The “Pleaser” Within – RIck Clemons

Authenticity is one of those words that can be cringe or cult worthy. For most gay men, it is something that we all struggle with as we battle the demon of "that's not what you're supposed to be."

Let's end that battle and look at authenticity through the lens of how you define it, and only how you define it. Joining me on the podcast today is Coach Maddox - the authenticity activist and host of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast to give you straight up insights on how to be more authentically you.
About Coach Maddox
Coach Maddox is a Personal Power Coach, Community Leader, Content Creator, and Host of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast. He has devoted a lifetime to personal growth and freely shares what has learned.

With a 40 year history of providing personal services to clients as a beauty professional, he gained an incredible understanding of human behavior and effective listening and communication skills. He has now parlayed that into a thriving coaching practice, where he focuses on supporting gay men to be the most authentic version of themselves, so they can create deep and meaningful friendships with their fellow gay brothers.

He is an "Authenticity Activist" and agent for powerful and positive change, and a member of the "Gay Coaches Alliance".
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Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

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201: Being An Authentic Gay Man: It’s Truly Possible – Coach Maddox

Dating. It's either fun or the bane of your existence. Whatever happened to the good old days of waving a magic wand and meeting Prince Charming. LMAO. Yeah, keep dreaming men. It's time to do the work and make those relationships happen.

What better way to celebrate the 200th episode of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk than to have a candid conversation about Cupid's Arrow with Michael Kay, Head of Global Communications at OKCupid, where love and dating are their hearts desire.

Take a listen as we explore what really can make your dating life lead you to the man of your dreams. Make sure you listen until the end where Michael offers up an exclusive offer for listeners for 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk.
About Michael
Michael Kaye is the Head of Global Communications at OkCupid, one of the world's largest dating apps, where he leads PR programming in the United States and for countries across Europe, the Middle East and Oceania. He was previously a Product Communications Manager at LinkedIn and before that, the Senior Global Communications Manager at OkCupid.

Michael has been featured in ABC News, Ad Age, Business Insider, Bustle, CBS, CNN, Cosmopolitan, Elite Daily, Forbes, Good Morning America, The New York Times, PR News, PRWeek, VICE and The Washington Post. He’s won several industry awards, including PRSA-NY 15 Under 35 Winner 2021 and more.
Connect With Michael
Special Offer For OKCupid - subscriptions@okcupid.com

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200: Give a shot to the heart in your online dating – Michael Kaye

Stop whining and start celebrating your milestones of life - age, career advancements, make-ups and breakups, losing weight, gaining weight. They are all milestones that give us the goods to move our lives forward if we use those milestones to kick ourselves in the ass for good instead of moping around like a whiny old man. Here's the goods on turning those milestones into opportunities.
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199: Leverage your milestones instead of complaining – Rick Clemons

Sex, sex, sex. That's all gay men care about. Not exactly true but even if it is, sex and sexual pleasure can get the best and worst of us as we age...or does it? Intimacy expert, Susan Bratton joins me today for a very candid, raw, sexual chat about everything sexual and how to take care of your cock, balls, and masculine energy around sex. Jump on boys, this is one you won't soon forget.
About Susan
Susan Bratton "Intimacy Expert to Millions" is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long.

She is co-founder and CEO of two corporations: Personal Life Media, Inc., a publisher of heart-connected lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills and The20, LLC., a manufacturer of organic and botanical supplements that enhance sexual vitality.

A best-selling author and publisher of 34 books and programs including Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him, Steamy Sex Ed, The Passion Patch, Hormone Balancing, and Hot To Trot.

Susan has been featured in the New York Times and on CNBC and the TODAY Show. She makes frequent appearances on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox and NBC.
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198: Up Your Cocksmanship – Susan Bratton

Aging. Wondering what do I do and where will my life lead me? It's happening to all of us. One of the biggest questions is "When the time comes, where do I find a community that is welcoming to me as an aging, retired gay man, without the fear of having to hide back in the closet?" Loren Ostrow, the founder and developer of Out Palm Springs shares how he and his organization is changing retirement living for the LGBTQ community. This insightful conversation might surprise you of the things you aren't thinking about as you march towards those golden years.
About Loren
The driving force behind Living Out, Loren Ostrow has an extensive background in large project development and management. As president of Silver Slipper Gaming, LLC., Bossier Casino Venture, Inc., and a principal in KOAR International, LLC. Mr. Ostrow and his companies have successfully acquired, developed, and managed properties that include casinos, hotels, shopping centers, restaurants, condominiums, and other major commercial real estate endeavors. He currently serves as Chief Executive Officer and President of Living Out, Palm Springs. Loren holds a B.A. degree from the University of Rochester (graduating Magna Cum Laude), an MBA in finance and accounting from the University of Rochester, and a J.D. degree from Stanford Law School. Loren is also a well-known member of the LGBTQ community, both as an active participant in LGBTQ causes and as a generous philanthropist. Loren has served on the Boards of Directors of the Los Angeles LGBT Center, the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, and Congregation Kol Ami. He continues his 20+ – year tenure on the Los Angeles LGBT Center Board of Directors and continues to be a significant financial benefactor for issues important to the LGBTQ community. Loren and his business partner, Paul Alanis, have been in partnership for more than 40 years. Loren and his husband of 30 years, Brian Newkirk, reside in Los Angeles, Palm Springs, and Provincetown.

About Living Out Palm Springs
Living Out Palm Springs will be an upscale resort apartment community built on nine acres in central Palm Springs, California. It will comprise 122 luxury apartments, in four unit configurations ranging from a 1 bed, 1 ½ bath + den, to a 2 bed, 2 ½ bath + den. Units will range from approximately 1,100 sq. ft to 1,700 sq. ft. with every unit containing a large usable balcony or patio. The architecture of the community will reference the iconic Mid-Century Modern style for which Palm Springs is famous. The project will feature dramatic landscaping, desert mountain views, an upscale, full-service restaurant and bar operated by nationally-known chefs and restaurateurs Susan Feniger and Mary Sue Milliken, movie theater with reclining seats, game room, card room, state of the art fitness center, arts and crafts studio, massage rooms, a hair salon including manicure and pedicure facilities, and an innovative community lounge that will include a coffee bar, prepared foo

197: Find Your Just Right Spot For Aging Gracefully – Loren Ostrow

You have this burning desire to do your own thing, start your own business, be your own boss. Great. Awesome. Then the challenges arise and instead of walking away from a job, you just built yourself a job that you can't get away from.

Stefaan DeVreese candidly shares the in's and out's of being a gay man in mid-life who is building a business, and the resilience it takes to be a titan in your own world. Listen for great tips and advice of how to start that side hustle or full blown business as a gay man.
About Stefaan
Stefaan, born and raised in Belgium, is Founder & CEO of Titanology. He is a true serial entrepreneur. After more than 2 decades of building his own companies and serving big corporate businesses, helping them analyze and streamline their teams, systems, and leadership… he came out of the closet at 36 years old.

He chose to use his knowledge to help people from the LGBTIQ+ Community to start, build and grow their own self-sustaining business around their passion, so they can have that life of freedom we all desire and deserve. As a former basketball coach for 20+ years, it’s safe to say that coaching is his passion.

As public speaker and community builder his mission is to show every LGBTIQ+ Business owner how powerful they truly are. He is co-founder of the BGLBC. Check his LinkedIn Profile for more information.
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196: How to be a Titan of Building Your Own Business – Stefaan DeVreese

Living life is messy. Messy, messy, messy. Now add to it being a gay man, and Lord help us, it can get real messy. Helping us undo some of that mess when we think it is impossible is Author Britt East, sharing wisdom from his book "A Gay Man's Guide To Life." Listen up and you just might learn something that you need to.
About Britt
BRITT EAST is an author and speaker who uses his experience, strength, and hope to challenge and inspire change-oriented gay men to get down to the business of improving their lives. With over two decades of personal growth and development experience in a variety of modalities, such as the 12 Steps, Nonviolent Communication, yoga, meditation, talk therapy, and the Hoffman Process, 

Britt is committed to building a personal practice of self-discovery that he can then share with gay men everywhere. He lives in Seattle with his husband and their crazy dog. 
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195: A Gay Man’s Guide To Life – Britt East

It's too late to come out. It's too late to find a relationship. It's too late to find my passion. BULLSHIT! You can come out of the closet of your life, regardless of what that closet is, even when you think it is impossible. These five tips will help you see the thought - "too late" - in a whole new way.
Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats
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194: It’s never too late to come out about anything – Rick Clemons

Seems non-monogamy is more and more common as gay men try to find themselves in their relationships in a way that works for them as individuals and as a couple, or even a thruple. So how do you make it all work when Monogamy isn't the way. Polyamory expert Kitty Chambliss joins us today to give you great insights on how to thrive in your relationship when the typical just isn't going to cut it.
About Kitty
A born-and-raised Philly girl with nothing more than passion, a laptop and a dream, I’m proud to have created a socially conscious mission that touches thousands. I am passionate about helping people understand that they have a choice in relationships and their lives in general.

And then be proud of who we see in the mirror, increasing self-worth (reducing depression, shame and guilt). And if monogamy is not working for you, you can choose ethical non-monogamy or polyamory.

People cheat. LOTS of people cheat. And many more people get hurt by their partners’ infidelity. I am partly fascinated by why people cheat. Being a former cheater myself I at least know why I cheated. And I also know how bad and guilty it made me feel. I used to think there was something wrong with me. I had no idea there was another way to be or to act or to handle relationships back then. I’m irritated that I was never taught that there was another way. I also grew up in a Catholic school being told that sex was only for procreation, homosexuals were evil, and even THINKING about sex or (gasp) masturbating was a surefire way to go to hell. This is a horrible thing to teach our children, and I have spent my entire adult life undoing the damage of this teaching. I even suffered from a form of sexual dysfunction myself for years partly because I had f*cked up feelings and guilt built up around sex. Sex negativity is destructive. Let’s end it!

 
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193: Thruples and Polyamory – Kitty Chambliss

We guys over 40, should have so much figured out in life, like how not to get our "buttons pushed" by other people. Ok, that is probably not 100% true, but we should have a way to combat that, right? No matter where you are in your station in life, people are going to get under your skin, and sometimes it will harbor there for weeks and months on end. I know, and I am sharing first-hand how to combat this "button pushing" syndrome in real time, with real issues, so that you can find real peace of mind.
Join Our Live 40 Plus Gay Men, Gay Talk Chats
The third Monday of each month at 5:00 p.m. Pacific, we gather together on a zoom chat to talk about the stuff us gay gays aren't talking about but should - careers, finances, sex, love, health, coming out - all that stuff that we think we're talking about but aren't. It's fun, it builds community, and you never know when you just might make a great connection or a friend.

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192: Combating “Button Pushing” Syndrome – Rick Clemons

Imagine going from being an active member of one of the most well known evangelical churches in Houston - Lakewood Church - yes that one...to becoming a drug addict, dealer,  being homeless and serving in the armed forces. Talk about polar opposites, but it is his reality, his story, and his journey to be himself as a gay man. De'Vannon Hubert shares his journey of life beyond struggles and near catastrophe.
About DeVannon
De’Vannon Hubert is the author of Sex, Drugs, and Jesus, a memoir about his struggles with drug dealing, drug addiction, homelessness, serving in the Armed Forces, contracting HIV and HEP B, and rejection from his church for his sexuality.

De’Vannon is also the host of the Sex, Drugs, and Jesus Podcast and is the owner of DownUnder Apparel. Aside from this, De’Vannon is an Honorably discharged veteran of the United States Air Force and a graduate of both Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University and the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. He also graduated from the Medical Training College of Baton Rouge and is a Licensed Massage Therapist. De’Vannon’s story is one of surviving the social outskirts and finding one’s way back to a balanced path.
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