This week, impressive computer magic can do anything as we hit the slopes (and the streets) to save the reputation of Superman III!Writer and podcaster Joe Mazel joins the show to talk about the probably not as bad as you remember third installment in the Christopher Reeve Superman franchise. With Lois out of town and things quiet in Metropolis, Clark Kent takes an opportunity to return to his hometown of Smallville for his 20th high school reunion. But unbeknownst to him, a new and more insidious threat is emerging to seize control of the world's computer systems and he'll need the help of morally flexible hacker Gus Gorman to defeat a cybernetic menace!The Reeve Superman films stand within a now almost unrecognizable era of big-budget genre films, where studios like Warner Brothers lent out their most valuable properties to whoever had the money and ambition to bring them to the screen. Though the current verticality of the superhero blockbuster has led to more consistency in output, there is something to say for the erratic charm of superhero films of yore, when Richard Pryor could star as a hacker with a heart of gold or Clark could enjoy the simple pleasures of homemade dog food.  In this episode, we talk about the unasked for humor of the Lester Superman films, the charming throwback of Reeve's Man of Steel, the titanic scale of the Superman blockbusters of the past, defining Supes for a new millennium, the deep bench of the DC Universe, the way the film's characters are all met with personal challenges of growth, and that "wacky" opening sequence.Plus, we also discuss the "humorous" Marvel style, marrying your cousin on Krypton, subbing Alberta for NYC, sun-kissed Superman, Richard Pryor's Star Wars cantina, a lack of "snow" jokes, paying off your acid, God becoming the Devil, the RoboCop/Schwarzenegger matrix, and the tragedy of Brad!Citizen Kane is a jerk!ConstantineRotten Tomatoes: 30%Metacritic: 44IMDB: 5/10Follow Joe on Twitter and check out ABCDTOS!http://www.twitter.com/joemazel1http://www.twitter.com/abcdtosJoin the conversation on Facebook and Twitter or our Discord channel!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservicehttps://discord.gg/49bzqdpBpx

Episode 18: Superman III

This Halloween, Craft Disservices rises from the dead for a discussion about an early comic book film so underrated it's scary: 2005's "Constantine"!Film critic and author Darren Mooney of the Escapist joins the show to talk about the only recently remembered film adaptation of the classic Vertigo comic "Hellblazer". Post-"Matrix" Keanu Reeves stars as the blue-collar warlock Constantine, a paranormal investigator damned to Hell for his sins and his generally lousy attitude. When police detective Angela Dodson's twin sister dies under mysterious circumstances, Constantine will find himself pulled into a war between Heaven and Hell with innocent souls hanging in the balance!Constantine is something of an odd artifact of the pre-Nolan, pre-Downey landscape of comic films. It was a financial success, but critics (and some audiences) bounced off of its murky morality and turgid visuals. It's only from the perspective of our current sanitized MCU Purgatory that some have looked back to efforts like Constantine as films standing in the gap between the forces of brand recognition and marketability. In this episode, we talk about how you "couldn't make this today", the exaggerated "death of cinema", how the algorithm determines what gets made, the film's stark Bush-era immigration metaphors, and how critics often recoil from "odd" movies.Plus, we talk about famous grump Alan Moore, mid-period Keanu, the last gasp of the non-franchise comic film, Black Adam's baldness, Nic Cage, "theological noir", Rachel Weisz in a tub, hugging and learning, a great Satan, swinging for the fences with your adaptation, "Ennisonian", and angels with dirty faces!Don't hex us, Alan Moore!ConstantineRotten Tomatoes: 46%Metacritic: 50IMDB: 7/10Follow Darren on Twitter and check out The 250!http://www.twitter.com/darren_mooneyhttp://www.twitter.com/thetwofiftyJoin the conversation on Facebook and Twitter or our Discord channel!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservicehttps://discord.gg/49bzqdpBpx

Episode 17: Constantine

Come for the Disney name, stay for the treachery, death by misadventure, and rampant tobacco use . . . we're battening the hatches and diving to "Atlantis: The Lost Empire!"Blogger, podcaster, and critic Noel Thingvall joins the show to talk about the ambitious Disney film that failed to reach a broader audience but succeeded in showing what animated features could accomplish. Milo Thatch wants to follow in the famous footsteps of his explorer grandfather, but he'll find himself caught up in a sinister plot to discover and exploit the fabled sunken city of Atlantis!Disney animation had dominated the box office (and home video market) since its revival in 1989 with "The Little Mermaid", but as the 2000s dawned, it found itself facing a creative brain-drain and diminishing returns. With "Atlantis", the House of Mouse called on lauded creators, talented designers, and a star-studded voice cast to give life to a sweeping epic adventure that could appeal to older audiences as well as selling toys. "Atlantis" was met with indifference by the general public but over the years it's come to be appreciated for its unique sense of design, its adult aesthetic, and the humor and gravitas of its performances. On this episode, we discuss the film's pioneering blend of hand-drawn and computer-generated animation, the influence of Mike Mignola's art on "Atlantis" and future films, the film's basis in the Disney adventure films of the '50s, the myth of Atlantis as social trauma preserved in myth, the film's aborted Viking prologue, its better-than-you-think sequel, and why sci-fi animation is a hard sell in Hollywood.Plus, we talk about video game films and why they rarely work, being openly geek, the influence of anime on Disney and Western animation, Joss Whedon and his involvement with the film, SO MANY DEATHS, skinny Indiana Jones, stealing from "Stargate", letting your kid choose your movie project, the secret origin of "Disney PG", a Bollywood "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea", #ReleaseTheMurphyCut, and "John Carter" comes up more than you'd expect!It's a ragtag found-family of pirates that make a heel turn and then make a face turn and have among their member a plucky young female mechanic! Atlantis: The Lost Empire ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 49%Metacritic: 52IMDB: 6.9/10Follow Noel on Twitter and check out his other podcasts!http://www.twitter.com/NoelCThttp://noelct.blogspot.com/Get Atlantis: The Lost Empire and Milo's Return on Blu-ray!https://amzn.to/36YUhARJoin the conversation on Facebook and Twitter or our Discord channel!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservicehttps://discord.gg/fv5RJuX

Episode 16: Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Everybody get up, it's time to slam as we do a real jam on 1996's “Space Jam"!Musician and podcaster Gooey Fame joins the show to talk about the classic basketball/Looney Tunes/Michael Jordan comeback film that launched 1000 Hot Topic t-shirts! His Airness has gone from dunkin' on faces to running the bases but when the Looney Tunes find themselves facing slavery on Moron Mountain, Bugs and crew will have to convince the GOAT to lace up his Air Jordans for one last game!It's hard to fully elucidate how huge a phenomenon Michael Jordan was in the '90s and it's even more difficult to explain what a shock it was that he quit the sport he'd mastered after winning 3 championships back-to-back-to-back with his whole career ahead of him. It's almost as unbelievable as a shoe commercial becoming a live-action Looney tunes feature, but Jordan's affability and charisma as a pitchman rivaled even his on-court abilities. On this episode, we discuss the film's origins in the Air and Hare spots, the ubiquity of '90s basketball culture, Jordan's shocking defection to the minors, the tragic death of his father following his 3rd championship win, the amazing voice talent in the film, the classic soundtrack, the revolutionary techniques used in bringing the Tunes and the Monstars to life, the movie's showbiz meta-commentary, the film's immortal website, and of course, Lola Bunny.Plus, we talk about the state of video game and wrestling movies, Cliffy B as the net Kevin Feige, emo sports, Rotten Tomatoes as film nerd ESPN, putting all the hats on other hats, "Jordan Rides the Bus", Shazam vs. Kazaam, Bill Murray's 1-900 number, June Foray, the hollow Earth, WB kayfabe, the film's surprising parallels with "Us", Gooey finally getting Charles "Bark"-ley, Aaron mispronouncing "Nike" a bunch, and the existential terror that is the Michael Ball.Mike's Secret Stuff. Not even once.Space Jam ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 42%Metacritic: 59IMDB: 6.4/10Follow Gooey on Twitter and check out their other podcasts!http://www.twitter.com/gooeyfamehttp://www.twitter.com/PWRVpodcasthttp://www.twitter.com/eifpodhttp://www.twitter.com/virtualtheaterxWatch the SB Nation expose on the big game!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DppXWDwf258Watch the documentary "Jordan Rides the Bus"!https://amzn.to/2shYvW8Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter or our Discord channel!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservicehttps://discord.gg/fv5RJuX

Episode 15: Space Jam

We're done playing games this week as we jump into the first video game movie adaptation, 1993's “Super Mario Bros."!Author and returning guest Melissa “Frickin” Olson is back to talk about another ground-breaking film project swallowed by its own ambitions. Mario and Luigi Mario just want to fix pipes and beat the Scapellis, but when Daisy is kidnapped into an alternate version of New York, the Mario Brothers will have to confront a strange new world, an army of devolved monsters, and defeat King Koopa to rescue Daisy and save the world!In 2019, the "video game movie" is a well-established and often maligned genre But in 1993, the creators of Super Mario Bros. were working without a map (or a strategy guide) and the assemblage of raw talent involved in the production, combined with the creative but inexperienced directors, left us with a transitional fossil of a picture, engrossing in its weirdness and enlightening in its shortcomings. On this episode, we discuss the surprising talent behind the film, the birth pains of video game cinema, how modern genre films "look for the mutants", recreating the "gameplay loop" in film, Shigeru Miyamoto's reaction to the movie, the proto-cyberpunk origins of the film, Roger Ebert's change of heart about video games, and the tangle of screenwriters who tried to hammer out a narrative from an 8-bit Nintendo game.Plus, we talk about being a cry baby pee pants about horror, the rules of TED talks, William Gibson's Super Mario Bros., RIP Bike Guy, Noo Yawk dinos, the fantastic Fiona Shaw, the film's secret Disney status, the "Did That Just Happen" count, the surprisingly good Angry Birds movies, the cast's nostalgic reactions, and justice for Disney princesses!#TRUSTTHEFUNGUSSuper Mario Bros. ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 23%Metacritic: NAIMDB: 4.0/10Follow Melissa on Twitter, check out her website, and watch her TED Talk!http://www.twitter.com/melissafolsonhttp://www.melissafolson.comhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aUPlcynqPIPre-order the latest book in the Boundary series, Boundary Haunted, out December 3rd!https://amzn.to/2QR0hHwWatch Super Mario Bros. on Amazon Prime!https://amzn.to/2OqHmC5Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter or our Discord channel!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservicehttps://discord.gg/fv5RJuX

Episode 14: Super Mario Bros.

Craft Disservices makes its belated return in style as we reflect on Orson Welles's 1948 noir classic "The Lady From Shanghai"!Writer and game designer Robin D. Laws joins the show to talk about another near-masterpiece from the iconoclastic actor/director. Michael O'Hara thought he knew about trouble, but when he falls for the beautiful wife of a bitter, ruthless lawyer, he finds himself drawn into a game of revenge, murder, and tarrrrrget practice!Orson Welles burst onto the Hollywood scene in 1941 with his debut feature, "Citizen Kane", employing the techniques he honed in theater and radio to subvert the cinematic trends of the time. But more often than not, he found his creativity stymied by studio bosses who were unwilling to indulge his fancies and a viewing public who weren't ready to take the journey he was offering them. On this episode, we discuss the struggles Welles had with the studio in getting the picture made, his casting (and shearing) of his estranged wife Rita Hayworth, the questionable veracity of self-aggrandizing Hollywood tales, how Welles's techniques inspired later filmmakers, the milage of auteur theory in a commercial market, and the true ambitions of the film's many signature setpieces.Plus, we talk about the definition and origins of film noir, a movie about drunk people, Harry Cohn: Hollywood Super-Villain, sailing (unsteadily) with Errol Flynn, screwing over William Castle, picking your adaptation at random, "Latin crime jazz", the conscientiousness of Chinese opera performers, synonyms for "trashy", the Wong Kar Wai remake that never happened, Aaron capes for his boy Yorgos Lanthimos, Robin doubts the Brechtianism of Welles, and we debut the "I Have to Fight You" podcast!This is without a doubt the best murder for hire, put yourself on the witness stand, bad Irish accent, hall of mirrors shootout, scary aquarium, mariachi luau film ever made!The Lady From Shanghai ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 86%Metacritic: NAIMDB: 7.7/10Check out Robin's podcast, Ken and Robin Talk About Stuff!http://www.kenandrobintalkaboutstuff.comGet Robin's books on Amazon!Beating the Storyhttps://amzn.to/2oQwFhHHamlet's Hit Pointshttps://amzn.to/2oPbfBABuy The Lady From Shanghai on Blu-ray!https://amzn.to/2IpZRD1Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter or our Discord channel!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservicehttps://discord.gg/fv5RJuX

Episode 13: The Lady From Shanghai

It's our first pièce de résistance this week as we present a film whose merits were evident on its release, but the movie industry had to catch up before it was heralded as a classic. Just in time for Halloween, it's 1979's Alien!New York Times and USA Today Best-Selling Author and film critic David R. George III visits the show to talk about a film that's more than a monster movie and more than a "haunted house in space." When the menial crew of the mining ship Nostromo stop to investigate a strange signal on company orders, they discover a lifeform that lacks eyes, weaknesses, or mercy. Now they must scour their ship for their deadly passenger, as it hunts them in return with the patience of the grave.It's nearly unthinkable now, but critics really were divided upon Alien's release, and on the program, we discuss the cultural environment the film was released into, as well as address some critical specific responses. We also talk about the film's genesis from the death of Jodorowsky's Dune, the path it took from script to screen, the triumph of its casting, the verisimilitude of its fantastic setting, the impossible evolution of the creature, and the monumental talent of the man who designed it.Plus, we talk about the sensibility and necessity of a Veronica Cartwright, the vision and execution of Ridley Scott in creating atmosphere, talk about "that" scene, debate whether Ripley is a "Final Girl", we ask whether Dallas is amazingly brave or amazingly foolish, Aaron wonders if God is evil in this universe, Dave shares his taste in baseball films, and we go HAM on a hypothetical Movie Vault podcast!The eighth passenger is DEATH!Alien ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 97%Metacritic: 83IMDB: 8.2/10IMDB Top 100: #52Browse David's many books on Amazon!https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B001IR1BJI?_encoding=UTF8&node=283155&offset=0&pageSize=12&sort=date-desc-rank&page=1#formatSelectorHeaderGet the 35th anniversary release of Alien on Blu-ray!https://amzn.to/2Q723RHHear us scream on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 12: Alien

Join us on a new series of shows that look at forgotten masterpieces of cinematic history!Fritz Lang is the Godfather of film noir, the police procedural, and the modern thriller, and M is the film that cemented his status as one of early cinema's greatest visionaries and innovators. A child killer stalks the streets of Berlin, and the city is gripped by fear and ready to explode. While the police search for the shadowy culprit, the city's criminals decide to take the law into their own blood-stained hands and bring the killer to justice. Just Enough Trope co-host Diane Blumenfeld joins the show again to pay homage to one of the most influential, beloved, and chilling thrillers of the early sound age!Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Cinema Crudités 2: M (1931)

Grab a warm Hawaiian Punch and fix yourself up a couple of DOGS as Craft Disservices returns to go where Roger Ebert feared to tread . . . Valkenvania!Author and film critic Mark McPherson is back on the show and he's brought "Nothing But Trouble" with him! When four New York yuppies take a leisurely drive upstate, they figure a minor traffic ticket is the least of their worries. But when they appear before Alvin Valkenheiser, Valkenvania's 106-year-old judge, jury, and executioner, they realize their chances of leaving town with unstripped bones are slim-to-none . . . and that's *before* they meet Bobo and Lil' Debil!Come listen to two educated men push their brains to the limit trying to figure the forces that could have conspired to create this film, which was both Dan Akyroyd's directing debut and swansong. Along the way, we discuss pushing the boundaries of genre, how movie-goers sometime NEED a film to be "good", reuniting Second City on film, and Dan Akyroyd trying to fit into the director's chair. And of course, we also talk condiment trains, John Candy escaping the movie, Mr. Bonestripper, Tupac Shakur's film debut, explaining "Cool World" to your girlfriend, and why you need that guy who will tell you not to put a penis on your nose.Go suck a bug! Preferably while you listen to this episode!Nothing But Trouble ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 5%Metacritic: n/aIMDB: 4.9/10CinemaScore D+Become a movie expert with Mark's books!The Horrors of Animehttps://amzn.to/2ntJomBThe Best, Worst, Weird Movies of the 1990s https://amzn.to/2KMcpTDhttps://www.amazon.com/Mark-McPherson/e/B019N6M54A/ref=dbs_p_ebk_rwt_abauRead Mark's reviews and watch them on Twitch!http://movieswithmark.com/http://www.moviespoon.comhttp://www.twitch.tv/movieswithmarkhttp://www.twitter.com/madness_markFix up a couple of DOGS with us on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 11: Nothing But Trouble

Join us on a new series of shows that look at forgotten masterpieces of cinematic history!Haskell Wexler is arguably one of cinema's greatest cinematographers, but his debut feature, Medium Cool, is all but forgotten. Against the backdrop of the 1968 Democratic National Convention, Medium Cool blends scripted scenes with documentary footage with chilling and poignant results. Just Enough Trope co-host Diane Blumenfeld joins the show to parse the brilliance and chaos of this neglected classic!Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Cinema Crudités 1: Medium Cool (1969)

Strap on your space rollerblades and get ready to wait in line at the DMV as Craft Disservices returns to explore a cult camp hit!Jacob Gulliver of Hot Chocolate Media is back on the show and he's brought the overlooked "Jupiter Ascending" with him! Jupiter Jones is a mild-mannered toilet cleaner with a dog fetish, but when the tater-tot of her dreams skates in to protect her from Soylent Blue-swilling aliens, she embarks on a galaxy-spanning adventure and discovers that she owns the Earth! Technically, all telescopes belong to her!We both pick apart and praise this imaginative romp from the minds of the Wachowskis and on our journey we talk Wizard of Oz parallels, wonder why space rollerblades never became the new Bullet Time, explore the Wachowskis' Lucasian naming aesthetic, ask "Whither YA?", decry toxic fandom, and declare Channing Tatum the pasta salad of modern cinema!Jupiter Ascending makes Cloud Atlas look like My Dinner With Andre! Listen today!Jupiter Ascending ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 26%Metacritic: 40IMDB: 5.3/10Savor Hot Chocolate Media on Facebook and Twitter and read up on their 2018 MN Fringe show!https://www.facebook.com/hotchocolatemedia/https://twitter.com/HotChocMediahttps://www.minnesotafringe.org/2018-show-information/remy-raygun-of-the-space-brigade-a-build-your-own-space-operaFind out more about CONvergence 2018 and Hot Chocolate and Enterprising Indiviudals' live shows!http://www.convergence-con.orghttp://schedule.convergence-con.orgSurf differential equation fields with us on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 10: Jupiter Ascending

Slip on the electrodes and get ready to synchronize with another notorious Hollywood head-scratcher!Alex Bledsoe, author of over 20 fantasy novels, joins the show for a look at the second-worst movie of all time, Exorcist II: The Heretic, aka E2TH! Linda Blair is back as Regan MacNeil, but this time she's traded her pea soup for a pair of tap shoes and has to use her vaguely-defined spiritual powers to defend the world against a swarm of demons and her own evil, sexy self! It's a film that could have only come from the mind of John "Zardoz" Boorman...and his "creative consultant", Rospo Pallenberg!Join us as we look at one of Hollywood's first blockbuster misfires and, along the way, we discuss filling big shoes, why 0% looks better than 20%, the value of a reverse barometer, art thriving under restrictions, the Land of Dairy Queen, Teflon von Sydow, Third Man zithering, and pitch a team of New Age X-Men!You don't have to be as drunk as Richard Burton to enjoy this show, but it couldn't hurt! Listen today!Exorcist II: The Heretic ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 20%Metacritic: n/aIMDB: 3.7/10Check out alexbledsoe.com and follow Alex on Facebook and Twitter!http://alexbledsoe.com/https://www.facebook.com/Author-Alex-Bledsoe-176299128296/https://twitter.com/AlexBledsoePre-order Alex's new book, The Fairies of Sadieville!http://amzn.to/2zcZmbjThumb-wrestle over a Play-Doh heart with us on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 9: Exorcist II: The Heretic

Fire up the generator and dust off Ol' Reliable because we're back with an episode that will send you to a better place!John Edward Moret is the programmer for the Trylon Cinema in Minneapolis and he joins the show this week to sing the praises of a lost classic, The Travelling Executioner! Stacy Keach stars as Jonas Candide, an ex-convict and ex-carny with a portable electric chair and a gift for putting the condemned at ease. But when he's tasked to put the beautiful Marianna Hill to death, things go off the rails in the style you'd expect from an early '70s movie. Right down to the unexpectedly explosive climax!Join us as we look at the auteurism of '70s cinema, discuss the value of Rotten Tomatoes, talk rooting for Dirty Harry, explore the Variety archives, John talks the post-Vietnam American crossroads, Aaron pitches a Bud Cort double feature, and we reveal the existence of the real travelling executioner himself, Jimmy "Dr. Zogg" Thompson!This show could easily be described as "tone-deaf to its own ridiculousness"! Check it out!The Travelling Executioner ScoresRotten Tomatoes: n/aMetacritic: n/aIMDB: 6.3/10Find out more about the Trylon online!http://www.trylon.orgWalk in the Fields of Ambrosia on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 8: The Travelling Executioner

Grab your big gun and disregard the currently negative view of firearms regulation in the modern political climate and lock and load for a new episode!Author and returning guest Melissa "Frickin" Olson is back on the show to put the collar on Last Action Hero! We partner up on this episode to take shots at the action movie satire that was so ahead of its time, it was way too early and frankly had trouble finding an audience. While we're on the beat, we'll indulge in a little more film school talk, discuss living in the shadow of Jurassic Park, catalog action movie tropes, check in with a young(er) Charles Dance, and examine the cosmology of a "Purple Rose" situation!Plus, we speculate on what the plot of Jack Slater 4 actually was, what Angie Everhart would be like as a co-worker, assemble a Schwarzenegger meta-timeline, Aaron posits a "Roomiverse", Melissa tells him to take it easy, and we somehow tie the movie to Deadpool and America's Sweethearts! This movie is the Wizard of Oz with guns and it's somehow not as cool as that sounds! Look! Elephant!Last Action Hero ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 37%Metacritic: 44IMDB: 6.3/10Pick up Melissa's new book on Amazon!http://amzn.to/2zbEDDjLook! Elephant! And our pages on Facebook and Twitter!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 7: Last Action Hero

Take that hotdish out of the oven because it's time for a forgotten Midwestern classic!Co-host of the Just Enough Trope podcast Diane Blumenfeld joins the show this week as we strap on our tap shoes, don our Mount Rushmore hats, and smear Vasoline on our teeth for Drop Dead Gorgeous! We look at the 1999 satire of a small-town Minnesotan beauty pageant and judge just how well it did in the accuracy round. Along the way we wonder why all the smoking, whether or not Amy Adams could pass for "real", whether or not this movie really gave us the Gilmore Girls, and what exactly was the deal anyway with the '90s and high school films?Plus, we tally r-words, look at the last gasp of "fun" Asian stereotyping, examine the birth of Allison Janney as a "pro taker-downer", and talk "Midwestern" eyebrows!We can't take our eyes off this film . . . get your ears on us!Drop Dead Gorgeous ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 44%Metacritic: 28IMDB: 6.6/10Check out the Just Enough Trope podcast!http://www.justenoughtrope.comFollow Just Enough Trope on Twitter!https://twitter.com/justenoughtropeSplit some hotdish with us on Facebook and Twitter!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 6: Drop Dead Gorgeous

Hickory dickory your dock because it's time to rock out to The Adventures of Ford Fairlane!Writer, actor, and podcaster Sam Landman joins the show this week, as we wade into the septic masculinity of this 1990 headstone to Andrew Dice Clay's shtick and career . . . and we maybe find a watchable movie in there? We take on the "Delirious Dilemma" as we ask ourselves if a film that has aged poorly can still provide entertainment outside of its offensiveness. Especially if it's a Renny Harlin film.While we're on the case, we try to separate Andrew Clay Silverstein from "The Diceman", lament the abbreviated film career of Morris Day, try to coin "hanging the koala", talk unpopular wacky '80s action movies, and invent the crutch-shield. Plus, Booty Time, Sam resolves to track down that girl from the Young MC video, Aaron drops a late-game Deadpool comparison, and Joel Silver makes it all possible through the magic of cocaine!You're ten seconds away from a surprisingly satisfying conversation about an embarrassing film!The Adventures of Ford Fairlane ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 29%Metacritic: 24IMDB: 6.3/10Check out Sam's one-acts at oneactaweek.tumblr.com!Listen to Sam's podcast, Aging Poorly!http://www.agingpoorly.comFollow Sam on Twitter!https://twitter.com/droningennuiHowl with the bros and goombas at us on Facebook and Twitter!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 5: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

Put on your dog mask and sneak back onto the set of your own movie because it's time to watch The Island of Doctor Moreau!Blogger, podcaster, and theater manager Matt Gamble joins us this week as we examine this cautionary Hollywood tale of ego, excess, and eatin' the hand that feeds you. We take on the role of the Victorian protagonist as we chronicle the travails of this doomed pic, from the muddled themes to the dual tyrannies of Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer.Along the way, we examine the wisdom of Rob Morrow, the inexperience of Richard Stanley, the beginning of the end for New Line Cinema, contemplate toxic masculinity in a beast-man scenario, look at Brando's "legendary contempt for acting", giving birth to a kitten, Kilmer's Brando, the mystery of the Missing Hootkins, and we talk VHS cover art nostalgia!This episode starts with "Ooh, cool beast-men!" and ends in a full-on, animal-person orgy! Listen to this show and go to Dog Heaven today!The Island of Doctor Moreau ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 22%Metacritic: noneIMDB: 4.4/10Check out Matt's website at wherethelongtailends.com!Listen in to Matt's podcast at High and Low (Brow)!http://wherethelongtailends.com/podcast-2/Check out Matt's theater online!https://www.showplaceicon.com/Browsing/Cinemas/Compare?Cinemas=8863&Date=2017-09-22Obey the law and follow us on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 4: The Island of Doctor Moreau

Strap on your Power Glove and spit out that sesame cake 'cause we're headed into Congo!Author Melissa F. Olson joins the safari as we explore this throwback, "lost world" movie, the "flop" that somehow made more in 1995 than Braveheart, Get Shorty, Heat, 12 Monkeys, and Bad Boys. BAD BOYS. On our adventure through this "perfect storm of nonsense", we talk the joy of bad movies, snake vision, gorilla head shots, Winston flashbacks, living in the shadow of Jurassic Park, and being trapped in the World's Most Avoidable Car Accident!We also wax nostalgic about Blockbuster, wonder what'll be on Sean Connery's gravestone, admire Bruce Campbell's scream face, respect the Linney, detour into Anaconda, question what's happening between Dylan Walsh and that gorilla, and a whole lot of Mummy talk! Plus, I unexpectedly throw myself on the tracks for this "perfect storm of nonsense," and Melissa refuses to acquiesce to the damn, dirty robot apes!This episode is all about having your sesame cake and eating it, too! More!Congo ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 23%Metacritic: 22IMDB: 5.1/10Check out Melissa's website at melissafolson.com!Buy Melissa's books, like her upcoming novel Switchback, on Amazon!http://amzn.to/2wdJcJSBe the latest thing in communication with Craft Disservices on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 3: Congo

The colon train keeps rolling along and then explodes this week as we shoot through Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever!Author and film critic Mark McPherson joins the show to look at the world's worst reviewed film, and we try to figure out the math on how many dead Canadians $70 million will buy you. In our discussion of this "film", we talk about critical impartiality, how easy it is to hide a microscopic robot, using landmines as an offensive weapon, making Ray Park look stupid, and whether or not a good movie can follow a "we open over water" beginning. Plus we discuss the superior Game Boy Advance adaptations, a Lucy Liu intervention, the "Matrix Syndrome", Neil Breen, a steady diet of Hostess cakes, and Mark name-drops Surf Ninjas!This episode is 800% better than this backwards-firing gun of a Canadian TV pilot deserves. In the (hypothetical) words of Gene Shalit, "Ballistic severs me from my will to live!...something something 'ecks'". Sever yours today!Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 0%Metacritic: 19IMDB: 3.6/10Check out Mark's reviews on moviespoon.com and on Twin Cities Geek, and visit his personal website at MadnessMark.com!Get Mark's books on Amazon!https://www.amazon.com/Mark-McPherson/e/B019N6M54AKeep the party going with Craft Disservices on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

Episode 2: Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever

Come take a listen to the only movie-related podcast on the internet, Craft Disservices! Our mission: to review the films that critics rejected but audiences embraced; be they prime rib or pulp, genre or general, we give films a fighting chance to entertain us.On our first episode, we enlist with 2008's Punisher: War Zone, a movie that asks the question, "What would happen if you tried to recycle that guy from The Wire?" I don't know if we find the answer, but I do know it would be written in blood with a singed dreadlock.Jacob Gulliver of Hot Chocolate Media joins the show to discuss this misunderstood masterpiece, and we cover important topics like Doctor Strange's Hawaiian shirts, awkward political commentary, Eustachian tubes, rooting for the monster, and a startling confession about The Dark Knight!This show is more entertaining than a barrel of parkour gang members on meth! Listen today!Punisher: War Zone ScoresRotten Tomatoes: 27%Metacritic: 30IMDB: 6/10Follow the exploits of Hot Chocolate Media on their Facebook and Twitter or on their website at http://www.hotchocolatemedia.net!http://www.facebook.com/hotchocolatemediahttp://twitter.com/HotChocMediaCheck out the final weekend of HCM's Minnesota Fringe show, Waiting for Gygax!http://www.fringefestival.org/2017/show/?id=20171291Keep the party going with Craft Disservices on our Facebook and Twitter pages!http://www.facebook.com/craftdisserviceshttp://www.twitter.com/craftdisservice

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