In the second episode of season 3, Scott and Dawn unpack the first characteristic of those who FINISH WELL: Fix Your Eyes on Jesus. Christ is the source of our life and is worthy to be the center of our affections. We talk about some means and methods that we have found to be helpful in centering our affections on Jesus. We talk about how, as Christians, we are saved by grace alone, in Christ alone, and only by his grace will we FINISH WELL.Mentioned in this episode:Hebrews 12:1-2Colossians 3:1-2Acts 17:28Romans 11:36Ephesians 2:8John 14:6Romans 6:232 Corinthians 5:211 Corinthians 15:10Ephesians 2:10Philippians 1:6Jude 1Jude 24Pause and Ponder: Is there any area of my life that needs a course correction so that I can FINISH WELL? If so, what needs to change?

S3E2: FINISH WELL - Fix Your Eyes on Jesus

As we kick off Season 3 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott & Dawn discuss what it means to FINISH WELL.How we start in life is important.  Athletic races are often won and lost at the starting blocks.  But, even more important than a good start is a great finish.  The older we get, the less impressed we are with the “shooting stars” of today who have a great start.  It’s common nowadays for “shooting stars” to become “flashes in the pan” who either finish poorly or don’t finish the race at all.  We are truly inspired by those who exhibit steadfast faithfulness over the course of a lifetime - often 7-9 decades in length.  They are the real stars.  Afterall, real life is more of a marathon than it is a sprint, isn’t it?  The ones who have trained and prepared to run a marathon often know what it takes to “finish with endurance the race that is set before (them)” - Hebrews 12:1.In our next episodes, we'll discuss these 10 characteristics that seem to be common threads of those who FINISH WELL:F - ix your eyes on JesusI - nvite others into your lifeN - urture the habits of grace (spiritual disciplines) in your personal lifeI - nvest in othersS - et up hedges of protectionH - ave a focused lifeW - alk in a manner worthy of the LordE - stablish sustainable habitsL - earn for all of lifeL - ive with the end in mindMentioned in this episode:Jean Fleming's Pursue the Intentional LifeWord to ponder - PreparePsalm 90:12

S3E1: FINISH WELL - Introduction

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 16: Remove Any Barriers to Sexual SatisfactionIn this final episode of Season 2, the Smiths encourage couples to be purposeful in removing any barriers to sexual satisfaction, which include:1. Inability to discuss openly and honestly sexual desires and needs.2. When one partner makes requests that makes another partner uncomfortable.3. Decisions regarding birth control.Mentioned in this episode:1 Corinthians 13:55 Keys to a Safe Relationship - blogpost or podcastEphesians 5:21Couple's Conversation1. How does the language used when discussing sexual issues make you feel?2. What can we do to strengthen our love for each other?3. Do we understand one another's preferences for non-sexual touch and affection?4. How do you think my interest in sex might be different from yours?

S2E16: Remove Any Barriers to Sexual Satisfaction

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 15: 3 Ways to Fan the Flame of Longing for One AnotherIn this episode the Smiths finish discussing Key 5 - Pray with and for One Another. In this key, the Smiths talk about these 3 ways to fan the flame of longing for one another:1. Be loving to your spouse.2. Treat your spouse as desirable.3. Remember that sex in the head erodes sex in the bed.Mentioned in this episode:Romans 12:9Proverbs 11:27Blogpost - You Will Always Find What You are Looking ForPhilippians 4:8Keeping Blessing Hill by Joyce SackettJob 31:1Couple's Conversation1. With regard to our sexual relationship, how can I best pray for you?2. From this study, what false or distorted beliefs have you uncovered within your thinking?3. Share what you find most attractive or appealing about your spouse.

S2E15: 3 Ways to Fan the Flame of Longing for One Another

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 14: Pray with and for One AnotherIn this episode the Smiths kick off Key 5 - Pray with and for One Another. In this key, the Smiths talk about how they believe prayer is the master key that has the potential to unlock all the doors of biblical intimacy for you and your spouse. Paul says in Philippians 4:6, " Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." We can talk to God about everything and prayer requests regarding our sex life is no different. These are 3 ways you can pray with and for one another:1. Pray for God to show you false or distorted beliefs you have regarding God and sex.2. Pray for God to give you longings only for one another.3. Pray proactively. Mentioned in this episode:Philippians 4:6-71 John 5:14-15Hebrews 4:16"Have a daily point of contact" blog referenced 1 Corinthians 6:18Ephesians 6:18Song of Songs 4:7

S2E14: Pray with and for One Another

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 13: 8 "Hedges of Protection" to Place Around Your Marriage (Pt. 2)In this episode the Smiths discuss Key 4 - Fiercely Protect Emotional Intimacy with and for One Another. In this key, the Smiths continue to share the "hedges of protection" they have placed around themselves to protect the fidelity of their marriage. The first 4 were covered in episode 12 and the last 4 are covered in this episode. 5. Be cautious of social media interactions with others of the opposite sex, especially former "flames."6. Keep no secrets.7. Be mindful of affairs of the heart (emotional affairs).8. Don't lose your mind.Mentioned in this episode:Matthew 15:18-19Genesis 3 (Read and look for key words like "hide", "cover", "blame", "deny," etc.)Mark 4:22The 5 Love Languages by Gary ChapmanEphesians 5:13James 5:161 Peter 5:8Proverbs 20:1Ephesians 5:15-18Couple's Conversation:1. What "hedges" have you and your spouse agreed to place around your marriage?2. How are those "hedges" working?3. Are there additional "hedges" you would like your spouse to incorporate into their daily life?4. Are there areas of your spouse's life where they may have "blind spots" (areas of susceptibility they have that others see but your spouse doesn't)?

S2E13: 8 "Hedges of Protection" to Place Around Your Marriage (Pt. 2)

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 12: 8 "Hedges of Protection" to Place Around Your MarriageIn this episode the Smiths kick off Key 4 - Fiercely Protect Emotional Intimacy with and for One Another. In this key, the Smiths share the "hedges of protection" they have placed around themselves to protect the fidelity of their marriage. The first 4 are covered in this episode and the last 4 will be covered in episode 13. 1. Never ride in a car alone with someone of the opposite sex.2. Never eat alone with someone of the opposite sex. 3. Never meet alone with someone of the opposite sex.4. When traveling alone, have an accountability system in place.Mentioned in this episode:Colossians 1:27Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It by Jerry JenkinsPhilippians 2:15Billy Graham's Modesto Manifesto

S2E12: 8 "Hedges of Protection" to Place Around Your Marriage (Pt. 1)

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 11: 4 Experiences to Live with Your Spouse in an Understanding WayIn this episode the Smiths conclude Key 3 - Regard Each Other's Needs as More Important than Your Own. They talk about how at various seasons of marriage and as you and your spouse age, you may have to deal with issues that can potentially affect your sexual intimacy. The Smiths discuss these 4 experiences to live with your spouse in an understanding way:Wives "coach" your husband to increase his knowledge and understanding of your unique biology, gynecology, health, and health history. Husbands, be coachable.Sexual trauma, changes in libido, sexual disfunction,  Illnesses, medication changes, injuries, and chronic pain can greatly affect your sexual relationship – communicate, seek wise counsel, and pray.Pregnancy and different seasons of life can present challenges.Often, infertility consumes the sexual relationship – talk and pray with each other.  Also, don't bear this burden alone.Scriptures mentioned in this episode: Proverbs 3:27, Galatians 6:2Couple's Conversation:Why is it sometimes difficult to be affectionate?Do you talk about how you can meet each other’s need for affection?  If not, why not?What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?Do you feel comfortable initiating sex?  Why or why not?How often would you prefer or expect sex?What sexual activities do you enjoy most?Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable?How could we each contribute to making our sexual relationship more satisfying?

S2E11: 4 Experiences to Live with Your Spouse in an Understanding Way

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 10: Is She a Red Solo Cup or a Crystal Goblet?In this episode the Smiths continue discussing Key 3  - Regard Each Other's Needs as More Important than Your Own. We compare a red solo cup and a crystal goblet. We describe the two and explain how this is a helpful visual comparison for husbands and how they consider their wives. We also take a look at 1 Peter 3:7 and see what God's word says about how husbands are to think about their wives. 

S2E10: Is She a Red Solo Cup or a Crystal Goblet?

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 9: 3 Ways to Become a Student of Your SpouseIn this episode the Smiths jump into Key 3  - Regard Each Other's Needs as More Important that Your Own. The idea explained in this key is that you and your spouse will experience better sex in marriage as you embrace the selfless nature of biblical sexuality. The Smiths unpack these three specific and practical ways to become a student of your spouse:1. Discover his/her love language.2. Determine when he/she is most receptive to sexual intimacy.3. Discern what destroys sexual intimacy for him/her.Mentioned in this episode:Philippians 2:3-4Romans 12:10Love Language book Love Language quizProverbs 3:271 Peter 3:7

S2E9: 3 Ways to Become a Student of Your Spouse

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 8: 10 Necessary Practices for Restoration (continued)In this episode the Smiths continue to discuss the 10 necessary practices for restoration if there has been sexual sin in marriage. In episode 7, the Smiths covered the first three steps and in this episode, they cover steps 4-10, which are as follows:4. Give your spouse complete and unhindered access to any and all of your accounts.5. Be willing to go the "extra mile."6. If travel is required for your job, develop a plan of accountability with your partner that you both agree to.7. The job of the betraying spouse is to rebuild trust.8. The job of the betrayed is to forgive.9. Establish a specific time and place (weekly) that questions can be discussed (beyond the counseling sessions).10. Understand you don't want things to go "back to normal."Mentioned in this episode:Covenant Eyes AppSexual Sin blogpostLife 360 AppSetting Your Marriage Free book1 Corinthians 13:4Ephesians 4:32Are You Getting the Results you Desire? blogpostIsaiah 41:10Hebrews 13:5Psalm 46:1Proverbs 3:5-6Psalm 32:3After listening to Episodes 5-8 (Key 2), discuss these questions with your spouse as followup: 1. In our marriage, what do you consider "need" to know information and "want" to know information?2. What are your thoughts about masturbation?3. Do you believe pornography is wrong or "no big deal"?4. How does sexually explicit material impact our relationship?

S2E8: 10 Necessary Practices for Restoration (cont.)

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 7: Adultery in Marriage & 10 Necessary Practices for RestorationIn this episode the Smiths continue to discuss Key 2 and talk about what to do if there has been adultery in marriage. They then begin discussing the first 3 of the 10 necessary practices for restoration:1. Seek the guidance of a trusted and biblically wise marriage mentor.2. Cut off any and all contact with the other person.3. Speak the truth and nothing but the truth.Mentioned in this episode:1 Corinthians 6:18-20Numbers 32:23Matthew 5:27-30Proverbs 28:13Blogpost on the 10 Necessary Practices for RestorationStay tuned for S2E8 where Scott and Dawn will conclude the discussion on 4-10 of the practices for restoration. 

S2E7: Adultery & 10 Necessary Practices for Restoration

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 6: 3 Steps to Consider When Dealing with Sexual SinIn this episode the Smiths continue to discuss Key 2 and talk specifically about these 3 steps to consider when dealing with sexual sin:Agree on what is "need to know" information versus "want to know" information. Confess sexual sins you may have committed (i.e., pornography, masturbation, abortion, or other traumatic experiences).Acknowledge sexual sins that may have been committed against you. Mentioned in this episode:1 Corinthians 6:18-20Biblical Mediation for TemptationMark 4:22Matthew 18In our next episode we will tackle the big topic of adultery in marriage and also talk about 10 necessary practices for restoration.If you wish to speak with the Smiths or someone on the Forever Marriage Team please email us at elavender@lakewoolife.org and we will get you connected. 

S2E6: 3 Steps to Consider When Dealing with Sexual Sin

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageEpisode 5: Key 2 - Deal with Sexual Sin - Past or PresentIn this episode the Smiths discuss how sexual immorality of any sort is never to be tolerated - in or outside of marriage. A crucial aspect to experiencing a mutually fulfilling sex life inside of marriage is to ensure there is not past or present sin yet to be dealt with. The Smiths share from their own experience the powerful impact of confessed sin on their lives and marriage. To experience better sex in marriage, they encourage that you must be prepared to confess sexual sins to one another.  Mentioned in this episode:1 Corinthians 6:18-20Ephesians 5:13James 5:16Sex and the Soul of a Woman by Paula Rinehart  

S2E5: Intro to Key 2 - Deal with Sexual Sin

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.In Episode 4 of Season 2 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott & Dawn conclude discussing the first Key of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage.Key 1: Align your thinking about sex with God’s truth.Within this key, Scott and Dawn explain these 3 ways to know if your sexual relationship is unhealthy:1. You have a negative mindset about sex.2. It has to be perverse to work.3. It is about addiction instead of affection. After listening to this episode, take some time to discuss these questions with your spouse.Couple's Conversation1. What does "affection" mean to you?2. How much affection was there in your family growing up (verbal and nonverbal)?3. What was the attitude toward sex in your family? Was it talked about?4. Where did you learn about sex?5. What do you see as the relationships between communication, intimacy and affection?6. Do you believe sex is intended for marriage, or anyone in a loving relationship?7. What do you believe is the basic difference in the way men and women approach sex?

S2E4: 3 Ways to Know if Your Sexual Relationship is Unhealthy

In Episode 3 of Season 2 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott & Dawn continue discussing the first Key of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage, which is to align your thinking about sex with God's truth.On today's episode, Scott and Dawn explain 5 Keys to a Safe Relationship. Earlier this week, we published on the FM Blog an article explaining these 5 Keys. On the podcast today they explain in greater detail how you and your spouse can have open and honest conversations about sex.Mentioned on the podcast:- You Will Always Find What You are Looking For- 1 Peter 3:17- Romans 15:7- MRS Goals - Measurable, Realistic, and Specific - Proverbs 3:27We encourage you to download a copy of the PDF of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage as you listen to this season of the FM Podcast. Stay tuned for Season 2, Episode 4! In this episode we will conclude the first Key with a discussion on how to know if your sexual relationship is unhealthy.

S2E3: 5 Keys to a Safe Relationship

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage. In Episode 2 of Season 2 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott & Dawn continue discussing the first Key of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage.Key 1: Align your thinking about sex with God’s truth.Within this key, Scott and Dawn explain the biblical purpose of sex  that we see throughout Scripture.1. Procreation (Genesis 1:28)2. Partnership (Genesis 2:24-25)3. Pleasure (Proverbs 5:18-19, Song of Solomon 4:16)4. Praise (Romans 12:1-2)5. Picture (Ephesians 5:31-32)On the next episode of the FM Podcast, we will talk about 5 Keys to a Safe Relationship, which will be helpful as you and your spouse have conversations about physical intimacy.

S2E2: Biblical Purpose of Sex

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage. Season 2 - Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage"God designed sex.  In the first book of the Bible, in the first chapter, God blessed the first man and the first woman and encouraged them to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). As originally designed, sexual intimacy, in marriage between one man and one woman for all of life, was to create a bond void of shame (Genesis 2:24,25). Unfortunately, the fall of mankind (Genesis 3) disrupted God’s original design for human sexuality.  Ever since, sexuality in marriage for many couples is wrought with shame, fear, lying, hiding and blame.  In over 20 years of marriage ministry, we have found the keys to better sex in marriage have little to do with position or technique.  Instead, the keys lie more in the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors of both spouses."  -Scott & Dawn Smith, Six Keys to Better Sex in MarriageIn Episode 1 of Season 2 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott & Dawn begin with the first Key of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage. Key 1: Align your thinking about sex with God’s truth.Within this key, Dawn explains the principle of the boundary  that we see in the creation account in Genesis 1. "Everything in creation has a place and there is a boundary around that place that is respected. The problems begin when what is assigned to that place crosses over its boundary."This principle applies to sex as well. God created sex to be between a man and a woman within the context of marriage. When we overstep this good boundary God created, problems arise. Stay tuned for Episode 2 where Scott & Dawn will continue unpacking the first Key and address this question: What is the biblical purpose of sex?We encourage you to download a copy of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage as you listen to this season of the FM Podcast. 

S2E1: Introduction & The Principle of the Boundary

On Episode 27 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott and Dawn Smith have a conversation with Benji and Emily Lavender about what it looks like to have a "marriage on mission." At Lakewood, Benji serves as the Associate Missions Pastor and Emily serves as the Discipleship Ministry Assistant. On this episode, they share a bit of their story -  how they met and were married, how the Lord led them to go overseas, and how community and the local church were instrumental in discerning their call. They answer some helpful questions like:What is the gospel?What is missions?If marriage is intended to be a visual picture of the gospel, how is that worked out practically?What does it look like to have a marriage on mission?

S1E27: Marriage on Mission

In Episode 26 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott and Dawn Smith continue in their three part series on Covenant Marriage. In this episode, they talk about responsibilities that husbands and wives pick up in marriage - to love unconditionally, to honor respectfully, and submit mutually. Tune in to hear Scott and Dawn explain each of these responsibilities and what that practically looks like in marriage. 

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