So many of us unintentionally engage in passive-aggressive behaviors, and it's hurting our relationships.  Today we are going to talk about 18 different ways that these behaviors show up.  When we create greater awareness around our own passive aggressive behaviors, we can start to clean them up and start healing our relationships.

#240 Passive-Aggressive Behavior

When we want/need to have a tough discussion with someone, we can have a tendency to blame and accuse the other person, which generally tends to lead to defensiveness and a fight.  In this podcast I'm sharing with you a tool I use to help communication around difficult circumstances that allows us to share what we're experiencing without blaming, and creates a safer space to discuss tough things.

#239 How to Own Your Own

There are times when we feel as though our cup is so low that we don't have anything left to give, and then we need to check out of our lives long enough to replenish and refill.  But what if we could get to a place where we always have more than enough and are in a constant state of overflow, never running out?  Maybe it's possible. Let's talk about it!

#238 Overflow

Sometimes it can feel as though we get a lot of complaints from our children about all the things we are doing wrong, or have done wrong, as their parents.  And that's all pretty normal, I think, because no parent is perfect, and we all fall short of being the parent our children wish they would have had.  In this episode we're going to discuss why that's all okay, and how not being enough for our children isn't the problem, it's when we aren't enough for ourselves that the real struggles begin.

#237 You’ll Never Be Enough For Your Children

We tend to put our noses into a lot of things that are none of our business, and it ends up hurting our relationships.  In this podcast we are talking about three things that are none of our business, why they are none of our business, and how to figure out what really is our business.  

#236 None of Your Business

Life is messy.  That's not the problem.  The problem is when we believe life shouldn't be messy, that we should always be in control and that people should always say and do the right things.  That people should get addicted or have affairs or get divorced or separate out from the family.  I'm not saying those things are easy, but they are part of life.  When we can learn to accept the messy as the part of life where we get to continue on our journey to becoming who God created us to be, then we can begin to see the mess as beautiful.

#235 The Beautiful Mess

The lack of forgiveness in our lives can be a huge source of feeling stuck.  Sometimes forgiving another person can be one of the most difficult challenges in our lives - even more difficult than working through the original offense.  When we can learn to step into compassion for ourselves and for the 'offender', forgiveness will come much easier.  And that's important because there isn't any healing or moving forward with our lives until we can let go and forgive.

#234 Forgiveness and Compassion

Many of us really struggle having discussions with people we love about what might be a difficult topic.  And yet, working through things together, in a productive and healthy way, is part of what creates great relationships.  In this episode I will share with you five things you can do to help you go into the tough discussions with better skills and more confidence, and how to come out of them with a solution that moves your relationship forward.

#233 Having Tough Discussions

For me, few things cause more discomfort than feeling disempowered.  The idea that someone else gets to decide what happens to me, how my life turns out, how I feel, doesn't sit well with me.  Knowing how to feel empowered in life gives us confidence and assurance and hope for our future.  Today we are talking about four things we can do to create more empowerment in our lives.

#232 Feeling Empowered

It can be so easy to look at other people's poor behavior and get really judgy about it, especially when it is hurtful toward us or someone we love.  But one of the greatest shifts that we can experience in life is when we begin to see other people's hurtful behavior coming from a place of pain.  When we can recognize that 'hurt people hurt people', and begin to look beyond the behavior and see instead the pain that is spawning the behavior, we can move into a much more compassionate and kind place.  In so doing, we can create a safe space for the other person to see and acknowledge their pain and their behavior, and we can feel amazing about how we are engaging in our relationships.

#231 Other People's Pain

So many of us get caught in people-pleasing.  This is a space of trying to please others, often at our own expense, and seeking others' approval.  In this episode we not only talk about how people-pleasing shows up in our lives, but where it stems from and how we can begin to move out of constantly worrying about how others perceive us, and feel really good and confident about how we are showing up for ourselves.

#230 People Pleasing

Are you someone who gets stuck making decisions?  You just might find that it has more to do with how you respond to the decisions you make than the actual making of the decision.  In this episode we talk about the reasons why making decisions can be difficult, how to make decisions easier, and how to move with more confidence when you finally get there.

#229 How To Make Better Decisions

Sione (my husband) and I have some rules we feel make a huge difference in helping us to create the intimate partnership we want.  These were put in place the weekend we decided to date exclusively, and we continue to implement them because they have made such an amazing impact in our marriage.  Our hope is that our rules will spark ideas for you to create your own rules and have more connected relationships in your life.  

#228 Our Relationship Rules

Obligation is such a detrimental concept when it exists in our relationships. Obligation comes from a place of fear, a place that relies on 'have to' or 'should'.  And this is a space that will never create intimacy in our relationships - whether they be with a partner, with God, or with ourselves.  In this podcast we discuss more in-depth the dangers of obligation and how to begin the move out of it.

#227 Feeling Obligated

It can be so easy to get stuck in resistance to middle-age.  This can often show up with patterns of behavior that damage our relationships and keep us stuck.  And yet, learning to lean into all of these mid-life changes, to accept them and, yes, even embrace them, is the key to really creating the life we want and discovering ourselves at a deeper level.  Believing that the best is yet to come will move you into the most amazing time of your life, which is now!  

#226 The Best Is Yet To Come

When we feel disempowered, we often don't recognize it as a result of our own thought processes.  And yet, when we allow ourselves to settle into shame or blame, we are creating just the right environment to feel disempowered.  Feeling in control of our lives requires that we counter our shame with self-acceptance, and our blame with self-awareness.  

#225 Shame, Blame, and Disempowerment

Learning to replace shame and judgment with compassion and curiosity in our relationships with ourselves and with others will create a huge shift in the quality and intimacy of those relationships.  Whereas shame and judgment will shut us down and stop our progression, compassion and curiosity will create a safe space for growth and exploration.  They give us the opportunity to really come to know ourselves and others, and to move into deeper connection.  And isn't connection what we really want in developing relationships?

#224 Compassion and Curiosity

Contrary to what your mother told you, life really is all about you!  This episode has nothing to do with ignoring others pain or being selfish, but rather intentionally choosing to take on the responsibility for being the person you really want to be.  About showing up as the best version of yourself.  This is what you can control in any circumstance, and it has everything to do with you!

#223 It Really Is All About You

The time in our life when we put divorce on the table is tough.  There are so many things to consider, tons of pressure, the grief of unfulfilled dreams, and the pain of perceived failure.  We really want to make sure that we make the best decision for us, that we don't walk away when things could have gotten better.  From my own work, and work with a lot of clients going through this process, today I am sharing some ideas of what you really want to make sure happens so that you can make the best decision for you, so that you're really content with the reasons for your decision, whether you choose to stay or to go.

#222 When You Are Considering Divorce

Divorce is often one of the biggest challenges in a person's life.  And it impacts a lot of people, not just those in the immediate family.  So often friends and family struggle with knowing how to handle the divorce of people they love.  What should they say?  What should they do?  Today we're going to talk about the best way to show up for the divorce of someone you love.  

Intentional Living with Tanya Hale

Intentional Living with Tanya Hale

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