Where's the beef? ONLINE! Taylor Lorenz joins the Court this week to help clear the docket and talk about ONLINE BEEFS! Taylor is a tech journalist and author of the new book Extremely Online: The Untold Story of Fame, Influence, and Power on the Internet. Judge Hodgman and Guest Bailiff Jean Grae consult Taylor on all things online: talking back within local restaurant reviews, intentional mistakes to drive engagement, meeting your troll IRL, wiki editing, and much more!Judge John Hodgman’s Van Freaks Roadshow has begun! Visit vanfreaksroadshow.com for ticket links, other dates, cities, and more information! And SUBMIT YOUR CASES along the tour route at maximumfun.org/jjho!

Online Beefs With Taylor Lorenz

Dan brings the case against his wife, Carrie. Dan wants to build a model railroad in a small switching layout that simulates a switchyard. This type of model railroad does not move in a loop. Carrie says that a model railroad is pointless if it doesn’t move in a loop! Who's right? Who's wrong? Thanks to reddit user u/themadjuggler for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com! Check out the evidence at instagram.com/judgejohnhodgman!Judge John Hodgman’s Van Freaks Roadshow has begun! It's not too late to get your tickets for LONDON this FRIDAY! For 30% off, use code JUDGE2023 at checkout! Visit vanfreaksroadshow.com for ticket links, other dates, cities, and more information! And SUBMIT YOUR CASES along the tour route at maximumfun.org/jjho! 

Injunction Junction

Dave brings the case against his niece, Morgan. When Morgan was around 5 years old, she stole his special collection of red skittles. And ate them! Even now, after 24 years, Dave is still mad. He demands restitution! But Morgan says: she was just a kid. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thanks to reddit users u/Ok-Professional-7569 & u/joftheinternet for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com! Check out evidence from the episode on the Judge John Hodgman page on the Maximum Fun website or at Instagram.com/judgejohnhodgman.Judge John Hodgman’s Van Freaks Roadshow is getting ready to hit the road! LONDON! For 30% off your tickets to see us at the London Podcast Festival, use code JUDGE2023 at checkout! Visit vanfreaksroadshow.com for other dates, cities, and more information! And SUBMIT YOUR CASES along the tour route at maximumfun.org/jjho!

Case: The Rainbow

Michelle brings the case against her husband, Rob. Rob is restoring an old grandfather clock to make it usable as a display case. Michelle would like to display her uranium glass collection in the clock under a blacklight. But Rob thinks adding a blacklight will look tacky. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte!Thanks to reddit user u/TheGreyBrewer for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!Judge John Hodgman’s Van Freaks Roadshow is getting ready to hit the road! LONDON! For 30% off your tickets to see us at the London Podcast Festival, use code JUDGE2023 at checkout! Visit vanfreaksroadshow.com for other dates, cities, and more information! And SUBMIT YOUR CASES along the tour route at maximumfun.org/jjho!

No-Glow Contendere

Martha brings the case against her husband, Doug. Doug is a retired high school theater teacher. His last production was canceled in 2020 due to the pandemic. Three years later, he’s still lamenting about how good the show would have been. Martha says it’s time to move on! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thanks to reddit user u/skeewalker for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com! Check out evidence from the episode on the Judge John Hodgman page on the Maximum Fun website or at Instagram.com/judgejohnhodgman.Judge John Hodgman’s Van Freaks Roadshow is getting ready to hit the road! Tickets are on sale now! Visit vanfreaksroadshow.com for dates, cities, and more information! And SUBMIT YOUR CASES along the tour route at maximumfun.org/jjho!

Statute of Lamentations

Howie brings the case against Mark. The two of them worked at rival summer camps. When the two camps came together for a sports festival at Howie's camp, Howie was tasked with singing a "sit down song" to corral the campers. Mark's campers sat down but Mark didn't. Howie called Mark out in song, embarrassing him in front of everyone. They have since become friends, but they say this incident colors their relationship. Mark says he shouldn't have been embarrassed by a fellow staff member. Howie says that he was simply helping Mark to lead by example. Who's right? Who's wrong?Thanks to reddit user u/Mutant_Friend for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com! Check out evidence from the episode on the Judge John Hodgman page on the Maximum Fun website or at Instagram.com/judgejohnhodgman.Judge John Hodgman’s Van Freaks Roadshow is getting ready to hit the road! Tickets are on sale now! Visit vanfreaksroadshow.com for dates, cities, and more information! And SUBMIT YOUR CASES along the tour route at maximumfun.org/jjho!

Diss Bard

Jesse brings the case against her dad, Jim. They get together once a week to play Settlers of Catan. When the dice rolls start to favor Jesse, Jim accuses her of not rolling sufficiently. He then makes her use what he calls the "Cup of Shame" to ensure that the dice are rolled properly. She says there is nothing suspect about how she rolls dice, and that the Cup of Shame is unnecessary. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Visit the episode page on the Maximum Fun website or our Instagram to check out evidence from this week's episode!Thanks to reddit user u/Colan_with_a_K for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!Judge John Hodgman’s Van Freaks Roadshow is getting ready to hit the road! Tickets are on sale now! Visit vanfreaksroadshow.com for dates, cities, and more information!

Per-roll Hearing

Marya brings the case against her husband, Clark. Their family found and cared for a Spiny Elm caterpillar in their yard. When they collected neighborhood leaves to feed the caterpillar, Marya was shocked to find that Clark clipped them right off the tree. She thinks that they should have only collected leaves that had fallen on the ground. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Visit the episode page on the Maximum Fun website or our Instagram to check out evidence from this week's episode! Thanks to reddit user u/acone419 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!Judge John Hodgman's Van Freaks Roadshow is getting ready to hit the road! Tickets go on sale Friday 8/4! Visit vanfreaksroadshow.com for dates, cities, and more information! 

Criminal Elm-ement

Craig brings the case against his mother, Bettie. Bettie has had a dry cured ham hanging in her basement since the 1960s. She now wants to throw it away. But, Craig thinks that they should cook and eat it! Or, if it’s unsafe for consumption, he’d like to at least give it a proper burial. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?We are going on tour! In the UK and Europe! Visit maximumfun.org/events for more info. Tickets go on sale Friday July 28!Thanks to reddit user u/kmack for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!

Special Prosciutto-cutor

Rick brings the case against his friend, Ken. During the 2019-2020 NBA season, Rick and Ken made a bet about who would be named Rookie of the Year. Ken bet in favor of Zion Williamson, and Rick bet in favor of Ja Morant. While Ja Morant was named Rookie of the Year, Ken believes that he should not be compelled to pay. He says that the pandemic caused too many complications. The bet should be voided. But, Rick says that Ken needs to pay up! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Get ready for the Weird Dad Blog of the Year award! Who can beat Norman Pressman? Is it Kat's dad, Drew? To nominate a weird dad (or non-dad) and their blog (or non-blog) visit maximumfun.org/dadblogs. We will be updating the JJHo members only feed with more nominees! If you want to become a member, you can do so at maximumfun.org/join!Thanks to reddit user u/Professor__Highbrow for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com! 

Full Court Press

It's time to clear the docket! This week, it's officially Summertime Funtime in the Court of Judge John Hodgman! Judge Hodgman is back in Maine at the solar-powered studios of WERU with Joel Mann. Summertime Funtime Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte (New England Public Media) is sitting in for Jesse Thorn. And, we've got word and grammar disputes to discuss with Merriam-Webster's own Emily Brewster. Can you dance with the person what brought you? Is saying UPMOST the UTMOST in wrongness? And what sound do French dogs make? Listen for the answers to these questions and more! 

Mandatory Sentencing Guidelines

This week, we're revisiting a certified Judge John Hodgman classic: DAD NAUSEAM! Daniel brings the case against his dad, Kevin. He says Kevin overuses the same joke with service industry workers, which the rest of the family finds embarrassing. Kevin thinks it’s a funny joke that brightens people’s day. Who's right?

RERUN: Dad Nauseam

William brings the case against his wife Wren. Wren is a member of an amateur boxing gym. William wants to join her gym, but Wren is concerned about him overshadowing her hobby! Who's right?Thanks to reddit user u/Ironymaiden_ for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!

Fight Court

Clare brings the case against her mother Suzanne and her stepdad David. Every summer, Clare spends a month visiting Suzanne and David at their house. Her visit always overlaps with the Tour de France. Suzanne and David watch every minute of the Tour because they don’t want to miss any of it. Clare says that’s getting in the way of them spending time with her!Thanks to reddit user u/problembearbruno for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!

The Bicycle Grief

It's time to clear the docket! This week, we're joined by Judge Hodgman's regular host in Los Angeles, Janie Haddad Tompkins. We tackle disputes about hosting, guesting, restocking larders, hostess gifts, and more!

The Host with the Most, with Janie Haddad Tompkins

This week’s episode was recorded live in front of an audience at the Masonic Lodge at Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Los Angeles! Our first case is LINUS ITEM VETO. Sarah still sleeps with the tattered remains of her baby blanket. Her fiance, Go Fact Yourself co-host J. Keith van Straaten, finds it very upsetting to see and touch. He calls it “The Monster,” and he wants it out of their bed. Sarah wants to keep sleeping with it! Then, Jordan Morris joins to hear TATER TORT: Lucas calls himself “the humble son of a potato farmer.” His wife Laura says this is wrong because his father was actually a manager for a large American potato chip company!Thanks to reddit users u/Ironymaiden_ and /KillerPotato_BMW for naming this week’s cases! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!

Live from Los Angeles

Cameron brings the case against his friend Shooka. When Cameron and Shooka were in college, Cameron was obsessed with Pokémon Go. One day, Cameron was distracted with Pokémon Go, so Shooka took his phone and deleted one of his favorite Pokémon! Shooka says it’s only a game. But Cameron wants justice!Thanks to reddit user u/lexfri for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!

Persona Non Grata Catch 'Em All

It's time to clear the docket! This week, we're tackling disputes about the theater, and we have two very special expert witnesses: the award-winning duo Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Bobby Lopez! Between the two of them, they've made some of the most memorable musical theater works of the modern era: Frozen, The Book of Mormon, Avenue Q and so much more. They've come by to lend their expertise to settle disputes about the ending of Pippin, post-show etiquette in community theater, and – of course – lots and lots of Sondheim.SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED.

Getting Justice Today

Leann brings the case against her daughter Abbie. Abbie has a collection of creepy dolls in their living room, on top of their piano. Leann thinks the dolls are TOO creepy! She wants Abbie to move them to her room. But Abbie wants them to stay where they are! Who's right?Thanks to reddit user u/Junk_Mutluck for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!

Dolly Pardon

Can you feel it? The changing of the seasons? The crispness of the air? The ever-growing magnetic pull in the back of your head that urges you toward the mythical land of western Massachusetts? That can only mean one thing: the return of the one and only Summertime Funtime Bailiff MONTE BELMONTE! He joins us to clear the docket and dispense justice on issues relating to wrapping paper, the game of Blank Slate, hometowns, and more. PLUS: A letter from the mysterious ROBIN HOOD CAMP!

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