Having a kid is something you do, like drugs, or being a banker. By itself, it’s not a basis for friendship. So how do we find parent friends to cure the loneliness of parenthood? Same way we make regular friends, dingus. Also, we’ve been trying meal prepping.LinksHow apps are taking the loneliness out of parentingWhy I’ve stopped trying so hard to make ‘mom friends’A Guide to the Terrible, Delicate Art of Making Parent FriendsUnpopular opinion: meal-prepping is disgustingMeal prep guide: Cook once, eat all weekMarkers04:01 Having a kid is a value06:53 Why We Become Boring08:46 The Bad Dad Trope10:30 Chava has a dad joke11:57 Meal Prepping17:05 Dining Out with Toddlers22:38 Homework for next week

Kids Aren't Values

Colin and Chava discuss when it's time to rearrange furniture to suit your family's evolving needs, and when it's time to downgrade the stuff in your life to spare yourself the heartache of a Room & Board sofa with crayon and dog puke on it.LinksIKEA kids kitchen hacksMarkers01:08 Making Your Space Work14:05 Planning for Mess22:05 Dining with Toddlers

Planning for Mess

Chava’s son is biting at day care, which seems out of character. He’s also being bitten. What’s making a bunch of sweet toddlers fight like dogs? Also, gendered mis/behavior, gendered play, and the morning bloodsport of toddler parties.LinksThe Independent: The gender gap: Messages that can affect the way boys and girls growThis American Life on Testosterone: “Infinite Gent”NYT Opinion: “Is This Family Gender-Biased?”Bustle.com: Why Are We So Obsessed With Millennial Pink? There’s A Scientific Explanation For EverythingMarkers00:55 Biting at daycare08:02 Mutiny10:23 Chronic ear infections and Beni’s tubes16:38 Using words18:55 Gendered misbehavior22:03 Gendered play35:33 Sleeping in

So Your Kid's a Biter

Chava visits Chicago and observes that Colin looks tired. Josh’s son goes on a field trip and overcomes peer pressure to play pass it on with a naughty phrase. The boys reminisce about puberty and commiserate about their common cause these days: sleep.LinksFailure to thrive (FTT): SymptomsNYT Parenting: Why Are We So Freaking Tired?Contents00:32 Sympathy Cup / Intro02:39 To Be Continued05:20 Failure to Thrive08:29 Puberty is useless11:01 Field Trip16:39 Dogs in the Library18:57 Sleep27:45 Sleepcation

Failure to Thrive

Drew and Brendan are in the doghouse — where they belong — for day drinking while our wives enjoy some overdue girl time and trust us to parent our own kids. But all ends well when we reconvene for a Crappy Dinner Party.

### Links

- [Crappy Dinner Party](https://www.thekitchn.com/5-rules-for-hosting-a-crappy-dinner-party-235815)
- [National Bourbon Day](http://www.nationalbourbonday.com)
- [Tina’s Take: Juul’s ‘Make The Switch’ Campaign Violates Federal Law](https://www.truthinadvertising.org/tinas-take-juuls-make-the-switch-campaign-violates-federal-law/)
- [Deliverance (book)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deliverance_(novel))
- [Alfred security app](https://alfred.camera)

Mostly Hand Stuff

LinksManhattan and a Milk: Packing list templates: Your express ticket out the door with a kid in towFind A Family Restroom: “The place to go when you gotta go”

Deluxe Family Bathroom, part 2

LinksPlane: BOMBARDIER CRJ–900FAA: Flying with childrenChild airline harness: Child Airplane Travel Harness - Cares Safety Restraint System - The Only FAA Approved Child Flying Safety DeviceLouis C.K. on flying with kids (video)“I have two daughters and both of them at one time were babies and I held them and they cried on planes. It’s happened to me, I’ve had a baby on a plane. If you’re ever ― This is how selfish people are. When you’re on a plane and you hear a baby crying, you think that’s happening to you. You’re like, ‘Ugh, this is gonna ruin my flight! It’s gonna ruin it!’ Well, look at the parent, ’cause that person is holding a crying baby on a plane, which means they’ve been traveling with a baby all day, which means they have a baby, OK? So their life isn’t even good. They don’t like anything. Their whole life is, ugh, Jesus! If there’s any joy for them, it’s that this is now bothering other people. ‘Yeah, you listen to this shit now!’ Waah!”

Deluxe Family Bathroom, part 1

Also! Coffee gear, toddler speech, and why so many animated kids shows look so bad.LinksStumptown Coffee Roasters: How to Perfect Your Pour OverAnd lastly, when it comes to type of grinder, burr is better. A blade grinder chops the coffee in irregular sized pieces, leading to uneven extraction.dillettante, n. A person who cultivates an area of interest, such as the arts, without real commitment or knowledge.Episode #1: Beni and the Breasts — Manhattan and a MilkMister Rogers’ Neighborhood 1101: Death of a GoldfishWon’t You Be My Neighbor? Movie | Official Website — Focus FeaturesFilmmaker Morgan Neville examines the life and legacy of Fred Rogers, the beloved host of the popular children’s TV show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.”Forbidden Root, a brewpub in Chicago’s West Town neighborhood

The Sitter Meter

Plus! We talk about the operational scale of having more kids, when to have more kids, bad falls we’ve allowed our children to suffer, and how to deal with your child’s problematic body picking.Wikipedia: Straight edge or sXeThe best prank phone calls by Longmont Potion Castle, also available on YouTubePayphone directory, including phones in ChicagoRottenTomatoes.com: Phone Booth (2003)The Duggar Family   

She's a Second-Knuckler

We also talk about working from home with your kid in the next room (with the door barricaded against a toddler who just figured out how to open it), raising a kid abroad and its implications for her identity later in life, and the dangers of comparing developmental milestones.Also, a promotional plea: If you like this show, please [rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes at manhattanandamilk.com/rate. It takes a lot of expensive booze to make this show.Thanks.

Please Excuse My Hard-Out

A conversation about managing splinters of time and energy to stay productive as a parent. This episode clocks in just under a tight twenty minutes so you can listen on your commute and still have time to dry your tears before the 1:00 status meeting!Also, a desperate plea: If you like this show, please rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes. It takes a lot of expensive booze to make this show.Wikipedia: Flow (psychology)TED.com: Manoush Zomorodi: How boredom can lead to your most brilliant ideasRate Manhattan and a Milk on iTunes

Buying Back Your Brain, part 2

In this episode, Colin and Chava discuss their recent decision to have their homes professionally cleaned, the resulting guilt, and how home services help restore mental energy for exhausted parents like them.Also: Errant body liquids, productivity FOMO, and how “Mom Brain” is really just parent brain.Also-also: Meal planning, the best way to spend money to increase happiness, and how your shower activities could be making you rich if you weren’t such a tired idiot.Wikipedia: KombuchaRecipe: Rye ManhattanNPR: Need A Happiness Boost? Spend Your Money To Buy Time, Not More StuffReddit: Shower thoughts- The Eisenhower Box: Urgent vs. ImportantThe New York Times: Where Are All the Nannies on Instagram?manhattanandamilk.com: Aldi x Instacart

Buying Back Your Brain, part 1

“People don’t talk about this, but this is way more common than we ever knew.”That’s our first guest talking about his wife’s four episodes and counting of mastitis, a breast infection that has had her in and out of the hospital since giving birth last year and left Dad at home learning the ropes of solo parenting a little earlier than planned.In this inaugural episode of the Manhattan and a Milk podcast, your hosts discuss how to love others and yourself while carrying a shit-stained blanket from the arrival gate to baggage claim.Among other things.We drink Manhattans, of course, and discuss our experience with breast infections, sleep training, and the long-term benefits of learning to parent solo in crisis mode.Plus: How to handle the relentless onslaught of bad advice from the persistently, tirelessly well-intentioned people surrounding every young parent.Show notesWebMD: Fenugreek, a dietary supplement for breastfeedingThe Mother Baby CenterLocate a milk bankReply All: #57 Milk WantedAAP.org: American Academy of Pediatrics Announces New Safe Sleep Recommendations to Protect Against SIDS, Sleep-Related Infant Deaths‘Momsplaining’ with Kristen Bell #MomDownload with Katie Lowes, Ep. 4

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