How do you handle moving, job loss, death, and other relationship changes? 00:30 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com We’re heading to Croatia for a vacation!  2:12 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner The gap between people’s stated positions and what they actually vote for. 5:28 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 5:51 Interview: Dan and dawn on poly change management Dan and dawn have been a lifestyle couple since 2001 and have presented at over 100 events around North America. Not only do they enjoy teaching workshops and classes, they also share via books, specialized events, and fun consent negotiation playing cards! They were last on Poly Weekly in 2014 on episode 400: Poly for introverts. They are also the co-hosts of the Erotic Awakening Podcast, an educational show that explores “all things erotic” since 2011; co-founders of the Columbus Space, an alternative community center; 2016 MAsT International Member’s Choice Presenter of the Year Award winner; Great Lakes region title holders (2010); creators of the Scarlet Sanctuary and Path of the Qadishti (sacred sexuality spaces); featured educators on both Kink Academy and Creative Sexuality; and mentioned in a number of books, articles, and other media. Poly change management  Embrace the power of “I don’t know” Balance appreciating what you have with mourning the loss of a partner or lifestyle Understand that emotions happen Change is a type of loss. Don’t avoid that grief; lean in to it. Update your partner before your Facebook status  Find Dan and Dawn at Erotic Awakening, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Find their polyamory toolkit here. 26:30 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 27:15 Listener question A listener writes in asking for advice on continuing a romantic relationship. She was poly but agreed to marry her now-husband P with the idea that they would open up the marriage later. She has a friend of seven years, J, with whom she recently connected and wants to pursue a romantic relationship. She is anxious every time J goes on a date with someone else, fearing he’ll dump her for someone who will be monogamous with him. How does she avoid getting hurt by love?  You don’t. To love is to risk vulnerability. You minimize risk by minimizing joy and intimacy. Take the Buddhist approach: embrace love, accept the pain that comes with it. If you really want to minimize pain, have some difficult conversations. Where is P in all this? Does he support you? Talk through best and worst case scenarios with P and J.  35:25 Feedback Herbalwise recommends the 2014 movie Th

605 Poly change management

Leanne is a bisexual, autistic, Asian poly polyamory educator, influencer, comedian, blogger, community mentor, and founder of Poly Philia, the largest page dedicated to non-monogamy education in the UK. 00:30 Introduction and host chat If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com 00:40 Poly in the news  Leanne was on the British version of Fox News talking about polyamory, and she ran circles around the host! 3:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner A white cis man’s view on abortion. Our big mistake is loading abortion with value and framing it as a women’s issue. It’s an issue of civil rights and bodily autonomy for all of us. 08:40 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 09:30 Interview: Leanne, PolyPhilia Leanne is a polyamory educator, influencer, comedian, blogger, community mentor, and founder of Poly Philia, the largest page dedicated to non-monogamy education in the UK. She created the #PolyamoryTipoftheDay series, and has narrated several polyamory audiobooks. Her polyamory advocacy is influenced by her experiences as a bisexual, autistic, Chinese woman.  Her poly origin story Why she started the PolyPhilia blog How to meme (Minx asks for a tutorial!) On being Asian and poly On being autistic and poly (her own experience only) How the hell do I use TikTok?  She offers peer support to non-monogamous individuals and couples worldwide, polyamory merch, Ko-Fi (like Patreon) with exclusive content for supporters, and narrates audiobooks about polyamory. All her links in one place. Her blog is here, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok channels.   41:45 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 42:10 Feedback Thanks to David for writing in with such nice compliments, including “Your show has been nothing but truly enlightening to me.” 43:30 Happy poly moment Lusty Guy shares his own happy poly moment! Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.      

603 PolyPhilia

Emily Blake and Gabriel Figueroa share their goal with their new animated sex ed series, Welcome to Kinkyville. Support their Kickstarter here! 00:30 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com The empathy gap and why it’s hard to predict your behavior in a hot state when you’re in a cold state. Related to our idea of “experience shock.”  Hidden Brain podcast The Empathy Gap A group at Harvard Law School, PLAC (Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, which is an  initialism), is working on  legal protections for poly folks. The Harvard Law article.  08:16 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner: is it legal to require vaccines? This issue was settled definitely by the Supreme Court in 1905 with Jacobson V Massachusetts. 13:19 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 14:15 Topic: Welcome to Kinkyville We interview Gabriel Figueroa and Emily Blake about their new animated sex-ed series, Welcome to Kinkyville. Emily and is a polyamorous switch and screenwriter who over the last three years has been developing Welcome To Kinkyville. She has been on more than one list of writers with great potential who almost sold a screenplay.  She's a script supervisor, an obsessive Dungeons and Dragons player, and a geek fashion designer. But mostly, she's on a crusade to rid the world of sexual shame and abuse brought on by years of oppressive societal conditioning. She is on Twitter a LOT. Gabriel is was born and raised in Puerto Rico. He now lives in Hollywood where he is a professional trailer editor who's created commercials for Hollywood studios, streaming platforms and independent productions. He uses Twitter to raise awareness about polyamory and kink. Above all, he is known for his serious collection of hats and BDSM accoutrements. Back their Kickstarter campaign, check out the Kinkyville Facebook page, their Kinkyville’s Twitter, the Kinkyville’s Instagram, their YouTube, and Emily’s Twitter account. 30:10 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 30:20 Feedback The guy from  episode 432 writes in with an update! 31:12 Happy poly moment S shares an NRE happy poly moment. 32:20 Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

603 Welcome to Kinkyville

A listener falls in love with a relapsed, suicidal alcoholic and asks how to move forward when her husband hates this new relationship that makes her so happy. 0:45 Introduction and host chat If you’re under 18, visit www.scarleteen.com 1:30 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner: look at your party’s track record The next time you’re wondering about what side of any given political debate to adopt, consider the track record of the folk advocating for each given side. If they are among those who think the 2020 election was stolen, say, you can reasonably assume they have a long track record of being wrong. And, as we all know, past behavior is the best predictor of future performance. 6:20 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 6:30 Topic: My husband doesn’t like that I’m dating a relapsed, suicidal alcoholic A married listener is dating a relapsed alcoholic. When her husband asked her to stop seeing him, she tried, but he was too drunk to understand and then threatened suicide. A while later she took up with him again and tried to get him into a facility, and then she started not telling her husband when she was seeing him. How do you go forward when your husband hates the new relationship that makes you happy?  Loving an addict is hard What does N’s wife have to say about his behavior? Forming feelings before meeting someone face to face is a warning sign This is why addicts lose everyone before they bottom out Put yourself and your safety (not your feelings) first  Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 18:05 Feedback In response to  episode 485, Kate says that aromantic folks call that emotion “squish” 18:50 Happy poly moment A happy v in Montana! Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

602 Loving an addict

A listener in a hierarchical relationship with her nesting partner asks how to start the conversation about moving to a more egalitarian one. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com In  episode 189 of the Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast, the guest Brea said they used  Eight Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory Before I Tried It and Frakked It Up!  2:50 Poly in the news  Folks are getting serious about creating a new poly flag 5:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner: A note to my fellow white people White people don’t always know what racism is, and saying “I don’t see color” or confuse intentions with outcomes are signs that you don’t understand. Whites should listen to the Black voices around you and read  How to be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi to start understanding. 9:35 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 10:00 Topic: Shifting from hierarchy to equality A listener has a nesting partner, and when they started, they agreed to a hierarchy. Now she has a boyfriend, and she feels forced to make her boyfriend feel like a secondary partner. How does she open up a conversation with her nesting partner about moving to a more egalitarian model?  Be brave and bring it up! Ask for what you want. Hear your partner’s needs without taking them personally. Maybe a theoretical And then what? exercise and start doing regular check-ins, if you’re not already. Equal or egalitarian? Equality or fairness? Equal respect, not equal outcomes. Define “hierarchy.” Get specific about new desired behaviors.  21:00 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 21:05 Feedback  Politics corner should be its own podcast, redux Feedback on the Israeli-Palestine conflict from episode 599  21:50 Happy poly moment Elbereth shares a happy poly moment from Europe. Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

601 Shifting from hierarchy to equality

Michelle Hy is from Portland, Oregon and runs the page Polyamorous While Asian, which seeks to normalize non-monogamy through an intersectional lens and amplify the voices of other people of color. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com Livin’ it up in Hawaii!  3:15 Interview: Michelle Hy We ask Michelle her poly origin story, how her poly and Asian identities intersect, why she started Polyamorous While Asian, the pitfalls she warns against, and dating during the pandemic. We talk about how allies must consider Asian inclusion from the beginning rather than tacking it on. “All relationships are political, whether or not they feel political. Because politics is just us deciding how we relate to one another, and how we feel that power should be distributed.” Michelle Hy is from Portland, Oregon and runs the page Polyamorous While Asian, which seeks to normalize non-monogamy through an intersectional lens and amplify the voices of other POC. She offers non-monogamy peer support sessions and also touches on topics related to body confidence, sex positivity, and more. Follow her on Instagram @polyamorouswhileasian and learn more via her website at polyamorouswhileasian.com Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 23:41 Feedback  Friggin’ Limey likes our use of “relationship orientation” Politics corner should be its own podcast Jen thanks us for episode 598; it was frighteningly similar to what ended her relationship  27:14 Happy poly moment G shares a camping happy poly moment! 28:18 Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

600 Polyamorous while Asian

Meagan is queer and married a cis man to fulfill family and societal expectations. She’s had mind-blowing sex with a new partner as is questioning her desire to stay in her marriage and be a wife. Meagan isn’t sure they can commit to the hierarchical poly their husband wants. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com Next episode will be from Hawaii  1:35 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner On the Palestine-Israeli conflict—it’s OK to admit you don’t know enough. Recommended reading, anyone? 3:40 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 4:20 Topic: When do I call it quits on my marriage? Meagan is queer and married a cis man to fulfill family and societal expectations. The past year (2019), her husband H and she moved to a new city and have been dating a lot. She’s had mind-blowing sex with a new partner as is questioning her desire to stay in her marriage and be a wife. Meagan isn’t sure they can commit to the hierarchical poly their husband wants.  If you’re not sure who you are or what you want, focus on your most important relationship: the one you have with yourself. Take time to understand yourself, your needs, and your shame through counseling, journaling, meditation, or whatever method works for you. Uncharted territory can be seen as an opportunity. If you’re close to your mom, it’s likely that she will even accept your queerness and poly, in time.  14:10 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 14:35 Feedback Yubi wrote in to object to our “date your species” advice and our reluctance to date poly newbies. 20:45 Happy poly moment We hear from our old friend Greedy Paul about discovering a poly rideshare driver! 22:40 Thank you! Thanks to new Poly Weekly Playmate Samuel! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

599 When to call it quits

Mathias' husband vetoed Mathias' feelings for and non-threesome sex with his new partner. Should Mathias end his 13-year relationship or stay but resent his husbands' veto? 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy are doing Navigating Consent classes  4:30 Poly in the news  Romper published a 4,000-word feature with the arresting title The Nonmonoga-Moms Next Door 7:30 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner Lusty Guy defines fascism and comments on its consolidation within today’s Republican party.    Fascism Liz Cheney ousted from leadership role for refusing to support the false claim that the election wasn’t legitimate  Republican efforts to suppress voting following the 2020 election  13:30 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com and copy polyweekly@gmail.com. 14:00 Topic: My husband vetoed my partner Mathias and his partner have been together 13 years, married just over three. They’ve had threesomes. Then Mathias met Markus, dated him independently, and fell for him pretty hard. He did bring Markus home for a reportedly amazing threesome followed by breakfast! Mathias kept dating Markus independently, came home later than expected (by 30 min) one night, and the hubbie vetoed both feelings for and independent sex with Markus. They have continued to date and enjoy a romantic friendship, but Mathias wants more, so he proposed polyamory.  This is a permission model of relationship, which is putting you in a parent-child dynamic Think of this as a mutual renegotiation of the rules of engagement to provide security for him and honesty for Mathias Those who force the choice lose the choice  And then what exercise to deal with insecurity If this does spell the end of your marriage, resist the urge to think of it as a failure; it’s a successful relationship that came to a conclusion.  26:55 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 27:15 Feedback Chloe from episode 359 Being out, poly, pregnant, and judged gives us an update. 32:05 Happy poly moment From Instagram 32:45 Thank you! Thanks to new Poly Weekly Playmate Brian! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

598 My husband vetoed my partner

SAF's first poly experience outside her marriage was the best sex she's ever had. How does she address the ho-hum sex with her husband? 0:00 Introduction and host chat If you’re under 18, visit www.scarleteen.com 00:45 Poly in the news Poly community builders Christopher Smith, Robyn Trask, Marina Reiko, Ruby Bouie Johnson and others did an impressive job for more than an hour on Areva Martin's influential  online talk show The Special Report 2:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner Today’s politics corner is the argument for D.C. statehood. The over 700,000 inhabitants of Washington, D.C. pay their taxes and have no voting representation in Congress. The arguments against: it’s unconstitutional (it’s not); you could shrink the size of D.C. to encompass just the White House and government buildings. Others have pointed out the inherent racism, since D.C. has a large percentage of Black people, and there is the partisanship, as D.C. is likely to vote Democratic. When Rep. Mondaire Jones (D-N.Y.) pointed that out, his words stating the racism of the opposing view were against the rules of the house and had to be removed from the record. Please support D.C. statehood! 11:00 Feedback If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 11:30 Topic: I had the best sex of my life with another guy. Help! After eight years of marriage, Stressed as Fuck and her husband opened up their marriage. Stressed quickly had sex with another guy. She says, “the problem is, when I had sex with this other guy it was fucking incredible. Most amazing sex I’ve ever had. It made me realize I haven’t enjoyed sex with my husband. I should also add that he doesn’t want anyone else for sex. But I’m feeling a lot of pressure and just am not feeling like being sexual with him. I feel a lot of guilt. Am I horrible? Is this normal?! Help!”  You can’t respect boundaries that aren’t yet defined, so keep that discussion ongoing. It’s not unusual or surprising that the second person you’ve ever had sex with is good sex. It’s good because it’s different, so don’t assume it’s love. And if sex with your husband was mediocre, explore your emotional connection and sexual desires with your husband. And yes, it’s normal to feel guilty. Poly doesn’t fix or destroy relationships, but it does shine a spotlight on issues. You can see as an opportunity to explore ways to improve your sex life. Tons of books will help you explore role play, BDSM, porn, public sex, or other fantasies that could help. For the guilt, try the  And then what exercise.  20:00 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 20:45 Feedback Cory, another fan of LustyGuy’s politics c

597 I had the best s*x of my life with another guy

Two topics this week! What does post-pandemic poly look like, and how do you keep your boyfriend from surprising you with new partners when you've asked him not to? 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com We’re in top 20 podcasts about polyamory! https://blog.feedspot.com/polyamory_podcasts/ Minx is fully vaccinated, pending 10 more day’s wait. A massage and travel are on the horizon!  3:15 Poly in the news  3500-word BBC article quoting Dossie Easton and great to show to relatives who think it’s just you:  https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2021/03/major-bbc-article-rise-of-multi-partner.html COVD and poly  https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2021/03/at-one-year-mark-polyamorys-many-sided.html  5:15 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner Most white U.S. citizen don’t know about the MOVE bombing, in which when the Philadelphia Police Department bombed a residential home occupied by the militant black anarcho-primitivist group MOVE, and the Philadelphia Fire Department let the fire burn out of control. Five children and six adults were killed. More links:   The Guardian’s article on reconciliation  NPR’s recent coverage of losing the children’s bones Our take on the Chauvin verdict  14:15 Feedback If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. If you want to pitch yourself as a guest for the podcast, please  read this first. 15:00 Topic 1: How does poly in person look? K started her poly journey during the pandemic and has only had socially distanced dates with her new partner. How do you act when you all get together in person so it’s not awkward? 20:45 Topic 2: My partner only tells me about new girlfriends after their dates W is in a relationship with her husband and has a boyfriend, who is also married. He has repeatedly casually dropped that he was going to have an overnight with someone else on her last-minute. She has asked him for advance notice to process, but he continues to bring up his dates last-minute. She wants to know what her “recourse” is, and if she’s overreacting. 28:00 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 28:20 Feedback Matt from 593 shares an update! Emma ghosted him shortly after he sent it, but says, “While I didn't hear your advice now back then, I did essentially come to terms with a lot of what you said. I think you both were accurate with how you looked at things (as usual!) and with hindsight being (not gonna say it), it was tough for a while but I definitely got through it and am feeling good about a lot of things, minus the pandemic that happened since then and still continues. You are not however going lose a follower! You two are absolu

596 How does poly in person look?

A listener wants to know if it's OK to consider nesting with a partner if she's not sure she'll be comfortable hearing them have sex with someone else. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com Thanks to L for taking the dog so we could record! And forgive Baloo saying hello a few times in the episode. J D asked for our poly pet peeves, so here they are:  Sex negativity in the poly community. Nothing wrong if it IS all about the sex! Folks who describe polyamory as “more evolved.” Poly gatekeepers.    8:30 Poly in the news Three best poly 101 articles:  https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2021/03/the-3-best-poly-101-articles-to-share.html 10:00  Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner We all need to listen to BIPOC voices with respect to U.S. history. Watch the Netflix series Amend: The Fight for America, executive produced and hosted by Will Smith. 14:30 Feedback If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 15:00 Topic: is it OK to not want to hear my partner having sex with someone else? E and her partner of two years are moving in together but concerned about hearing metamour sex and having private space. She asks if being completely okay with hearing one’s partner getting down with a meta a pre-requisite for being good nesting partners? What are your thoughts on ways to progress to this point of compersion/okay-ness?  Don’t borrow trouble. You don’t know how you’ll react, and your actual reaction will probably be different, anyway. If it turns out that you don’t, own your shit. It’s your issue to address, not your partner’s. What would monogamists do? When monogamists are concerned about living together, they do test runs--a weekend away, a week or two vacation—to experiment with domesticity. It’s a two-way door decision: if you don’t like it, you can go back to living apart.  26:50 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 27:15 Feedback Mica encourages us and you to continue the hard work of being allies to BIPOC. 30:00 Happy poly moment Gigi writes in with a happy poly moment about community. Even though her local meetup hadn’t met since February, she wanted to build community by giving back and adopted a family for the holidays. The group jumped at the chance, got every item on the family’s list, including four bikes, and more! A great demonstration of building community by giving back.  32:15 Thank you! Welcome Ivo to the PW Playmates! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemak

595 What if I don't want to hear my partner having s-x?

Ashley Robertson, child care provider and sex-positive educator, makes her podcast debut to answer questions about age-appropriate sex education. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com Same ole’ same ole’ pandemic, just waiting for the vaccine  2:25 Poly in the news   Three Dads and a Baby  Caroline Rose Guiliani is a poly unicorn!  Cambridge, Massachusetts passes new poly domestic partnership legislation  5:55 Feedback If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 6:40 Interview: Ashley Robertson on talking to kids about polyamory and sex Ashley identifies as a feminine, bi-curious, ethically solo-polyamourous, sexual submissive. With over a decade of experience in the BDSM community, she isn't shy of perverse topics. She is a liberated, ethical slut who wishes to share with others the freedom of sexuality without shame. Ashley is an expert question-asker. With three teaching degrees, she's an educator who is fed up with the idea that learning comes from a teacher. Instead, she crafts workshops and activities that invite introspection and curiosity while accommodating for all learners. She's at her happiest when working with youth; demonstrating consent, guiding them towards comfort surrounding condoms, and providing honest answers to questions about sexuality. She's trained to facilitate the Our Whole Lives curriculum and adapts the workshops to fit diverse audiences.  Her workshops have reached local audiences for parent education events and audiences far and wide via virtual workshops hosted by educational, outreach organizations. Ashley's non-coercive, comprehensive approach to sex ed is what we all wished we had growing up. You can find her group on Facebook, Let's Talk About Sex Ed with Ms. Ashley.  How do you approach sexual topics with kids? Our Whole Lives  28:10 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 28:44 Happy Poly Moment Fun story about the wife offering protection and safety tips to the metamour! 30:20 Thank you! Welcome Ivo to the PW Playmates! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

594 How to talk to kids about polyamory and stuff

Matt writes in to ask what to do after a partner asks to be platonic while she figures things out. Lusty Guy and Minx give advice. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com Let’s talk about snow and the polar vortex. Seattle snow was fun for us and our puppy, but Minx was worried about her family in Texas.  4:30 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner  We all learned about the pilgrims founding America to enjoy religious tolerance, but it’s not true. They decamped England and went to Amsterdam and then Leiden, where they faced no religious persecution. They stayed there for 10 years and ran for office in order to try to impose their religious views on everyone else. They weren’t fleeing religious persecution; they wanted to establish it.  Smithsonian Magazine reference,  the pilgrims’ time in Holland A primary reason the US government forbade membership in a specific church to run for office was because no one could agree on which church that should be. Want to find out more? Watch Stephen Fry in America or  read the book.  9:45 Feedback If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 10:15 How do you handle a relationship going platonic? Matt had a preexisting relationship with A.J., and Emma fell into that relationship. Emma realizes she needs to spend time on herself and wants to shift the relationship to a platonic friendship.  Minx suggests seeing this as unrequited love and treating the shift in the nature of the relationship as a breakup. Lusty Guy also suggests taking time apart to do that healing from the breakup. He’s also concerned that Matt might have a white knight or “nice guy” syndrome and be wishing for a transactional nature to the relationship. Consider that waiting for her sounds a lot like wanting to change her, so do take the time to heal and put yourself first instead.  21:40 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 22:15 Feedback This week’s feedback is an appreciation of Lusty Guy’s politics corner. 23:15 Happy Poly Moment R wrote in to share that she uses Poly Weekly to redirect her anxiety. She expected to be anxious when her partner asked to bring a date over to their place for the first time, and she was pleased when she discovered it didn’t kick off her anxiety. She believes she can be healthy and poly! 25:15 Shout out Shout out to Jenn and Catherine with love from Tammy on their three-year anniversary! Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for le

593 How do you handle going platonic?

Dr. Eli Sheff joins today to share her new project, The Bonding Project, in which she seeks to help people understand how they bond. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com Minx was down for a week with horrible symptoms of menopause, but feeling better now. Hoping to get Heather Corinna, author of  What Fresh Hell Is This: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You, soon!  3:45 Poly in the news  Chris Smith and Ben Schenker's have proposed legislation to the Washington, DC, City Council to expand domestic partnership and anti-discrimination laws to include multi-partnered relationships. More info from Chris on how to participate. Amy Dickinson finally gives good poly advice!  Ask Amy: Polyamory creates an extra family challenge.  Alan’s blog post.  If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 6:15 Interview with Dr. Eli Sheff Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a researcher, expert witness, coach, speaker, and educational consultant. With a PhD in Sociology (University of Colorado, Boulder, 2005) and certification as a Sexuality Educator from the AASECT (the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, 2012), Dr. Sheff specializes in gender and sexual minority families, consensual non-monogamy, and kink/BDSM. Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children, and her 20+ year Polyamorous Family Study is the only longitudinal study of poly families with children to date. Find her at https://elisabethsheff.com/, on Twitter, Facebook, and  YouTube. Check out https://www.bondingproject.com/ and  her blog on Psychology Today. 26:45 Eli Sheff’s Ranty Pants In this new segment, we provide space for guests to rant about anything they like, big or small. Today: why are anti-maskers so anti-abortion but also apparently anti-life? 29:30 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 30:00 Thank you! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

592 How do you like to bond?

Dr. Liz Powell and Kevin Patterson share insights from their new online course, Unf*ck your polyamory 0:00 Introduction and host chat If you’re under 18, visit www.scarleteen.com 1:00 Poly in the news BBC 2 has a new drama called  Trigonometry centered around black poly folks If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 2:00 Interview with Kevin Patterson and Dr. Liz Powell: Unfuck your polyamory Kevin Patterson has practiced consensual nonmonogamy since 2002. In 2015, he started Poly Role Models, an interview series and polyamory's most inclusive platform. This has led to the writing of the book, Love's Not Color Blind and along with co-writer Alana Phelan, the sci-fi novel series, For Hire.  Dr. Liz Powell is a licensed psychologist (CA 27871) and coach who specializes in helping you build your most fulfilling, authentic life. They teach, write, and consult on areas of sexual diversity and pleasure, non-traditional relationships, and sexual empowerment. Unfuck your polyamory is a 6-week course covering polyamory 101, boundaries, couple privilege, jealousy and compersion, metamours, and power dynamics that will give you easy, guided practice to put your skills into practice right away. Kevin is at PolyRoleModels.tumblr.com, on Twitter at http://twitter.com/PolyRoleModels, Facebook at facebook.com/PolyRoleModels, Instagram at http://instagram.com/@PolyRoleModels. For Hire is on Facebook at facebook.com/ForHIreMag or you can order For Hire: Operator directly at tinyurl.com/ForHireMag1. Dr. Liz is at www.sexpositivepsych.com or www.drllizpowell.com, on Twitter at https://twitter.com/sexpospysch, Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/sexositivepsych, Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/drlizpowell. Their book is at http://buidingopenrelationships.com and YouTube channel is at http://youtube.com/c/sexpositivepsych. Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 29:00 Happy poly moment R shares a story of her anxiety NOT getting the better of her! 30:15 Thank you! Welcome new Poly Weekly Playmates Theresa, Rebecca, and Jillian! Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

591 Unf*ck your polyamory

How to experience and nurture compersion in your relationships 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com The Book of the Kiss is a fantasy romance sourcebook designed to be system-agnostic. Poly Weekly listeners can get half off the cover price here. Love is Polytical was a conference in Berlin last weekend.  3:50 Lusty Guy’s polyamory and politics corner Both sides are not the same. If what you are looking for deep, systemic reform to systems, yeah, they are similar. But with 300,000 new cases of COVID in the U.S., the response would have been different with a Democrat in office. If you’re a woman seeking an abortion, an economist, a climatologist, or a trans person, you can see the difference. 8:45 Contact us If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 9:00 Topic: How do I develop compersion? If you don’t feel compersion, how do you develop the capacity to experience it.  Compersion is the non-sexual joy you feel in seeing joy in others. It’s empathy, and you likely experience it all the time. If you’ve ever been happy for a friend at their wedding or joyful that your kid won their soccer game, you’ve felt compersion. Start noticing and naming the compersion you feel already. If insecurity or jealousy are blocking you from feeling it in your poly relationships, try some of our jealousy/insecurity exercises, such as Discuss, Distract, Do and  And Then What. Consider compersion a muscle that you can exercise. Practice it mentally. For example, try experiencing feeling empathy/compersion when your metamour wins a video game.  16:12 Join the conversation Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx. 16:30 Feedback  A listener in Vancouver, Canada calls in to support Lusty Guy’s politics corner David Wheeler provides an audio review of the  Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory  19:15 Happy poly moment  S shares a story of her metamour saving their life R finds strength and courage to pursue polyamory  23:45 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

590 How do I develop compersion?

Worried and her roommate are seeing the same long-distance dom, and her roommate started dating him and then put restrictions on Worried's time with him. Should they move in together? 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com  The surprising obstacles to polyamorous marriage  2:40 Lusty Guy’s polyamory and politics corner Lusty Guy provides insights on expertise: what is it, when do you have it, and what to do in its absence. To start increasing your expertise on U.S. politics, LG’s suggests reading Howard Zinn’s  A People’s History of the United States. 6:50 Topic: My dom’s girlfriend is domblocking me Worried has a roommate, and they have both been playing with the same long-distance dom for two years. The roomie and the dom began dating, and the roomie began “putting restrictions” on the dom’s play with Worried. Worried thinks that the roomie is fabricating issues to enforce her girlfriend status. They are talking about moving in together.  Don’t move in until this is resolved Why are you blaming the roommate instead of the person performing the unwanted actions, the dom? When you have a conversation with your roommate, go in seeking to understand and with vulnerability Claim your autonomy; it’s your choice whether to obey your roommate’s rules This smells like a relationship by crisis model in which whoever has the biggest crisis gets the most attention. So just ask your dom for what you want, regardless of crises. Ask for what you want! Are they a good roommate, outside of the dom issue? Can you easily share household chores or choose a restaurant for dinner? Put yourself first  18:35 Feedback Welcome to our listeners in the US, Canada,  Germany, Australia, UK, Netherlands, Poland, and New Zealand. Shout out to that one person listening in Belize, Tunisia, Luxembourg, Ecuador, and Chile!  19:15 Happy poly moment  From S in Mexico on her family accepting her polyamory and her partner participating in her A COVID story from L!  22:45 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors Welcome to our new PW Playmates, Ivo, Erin, Laurel, Monica, and Nathanael. Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing. 23:00 Contact us Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. Join the conversation To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

589 My dom's girlfriend is domblocking me

Why we didn't produce an episode for eights months and what to expect from Poly Weekly moving forward. 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com  1:00 Host chat: why haven’t we produced for eight months  Puppy! COVID pandemic left me frustrated, helpless, and unmotivated to podcast Stay-at-home had a negative effect on our relationship for a while Lack of access to coping strategies. Swimply is the app to rent outdoor pools by the hour. George Floyd, BLM, CHAZ/CHOP, federal stormtroopers, kids being tear gassed  14:30 What Poly Weekly will be moving forward We’ll be talking more about politics when it’s relevant. We believe it should be OK to talk about politics, like we believe it should be OK to talk about sex. The personal is political. And we’ll be making calls to action like this one: volunteer with the critical senatorial runoff election in Georgia, donate to Stacey Abrams’ Fair Fight, or donate or volunteer for the candidates Jon Ossoff and Reverend Raphael Warnock. And the name of the show is still Poly Weekly, so we’ll still be giving relationship advice, sharing happy poly moments, and addressing your feedback. We’ll just also be sprinkling in more politics when it’s relevant. If that isn’t your thing, we invite you to subscribe to the Multiamory podcast or listen to Esther Perel’s sex podcast or any other poly- or sex-oriented podcast. Contact us Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. Join the conversation To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thank you to our subscribers and contributors Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

588 Where the f-ck have we been

How do we practice poly responsibly during a pandemic? Is it OK to move my metamour in with me rather than not see her for the duration of enforced social isolation? 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com Found a new poly podcast, Pod Pod Cvlt Cast, with 34 long episodes! We’ve got a new puppy to keep us company during #stayathome!  3:00 Poly in the news  Elisabeth Sheff’s four-part series on monogamy in Psychology Today:  CNM is not a good choice as a method to fix a relationship that is broken,  Four tips for heteroflexible couples who are considering opening their relationships,  Three reasons why consensual non-monogamy will not work for people who are monogamous, and her latest,  Monogamy by Orientation. Alan’s Friday  Poly in the news roundup, covering primarily the coronavirus pandemic.   How coronavirus is impacting polyamorous relationships  How a polyamory expert is dating during the coronavirus pandemic  What it’s like to isolate with your girlfriend and her other boyfriend  Is it irresponsible to date around during a pandemic   Minx’s advice  Use Zoom or Amazon Chime to host a virtual dance party or cocktail hour to stay connected Use your webcam to see facial expressions Try watching movies “together” over Zoom. Or send dinner to them and Zoom each other to chat during!    10:45 Contact us Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 11:25 Topic: should we move my metamour in with us while we socially isolate? If you’re considering cohabitation that you wouldn’t have considered due to coronavirus social isolation requirements, some advice:  As always, make sure your existing relationships are relatively healthy first. Ask everyone involved what they need to be happy and healthy in a communal space. Consider personal space, alone time, sexual, and physical needs. Discuss how finances will work in terms of rent, groceries, and other bills. Discuss expectations for chores and other responsibilities. Ask your kids how they feel about your metamour moving in. Have the pets been introduced? Is there a danger that they might attack each other? Set up regular check-ins after the move-in. These provide opportunities to bring up what it working well, what isn’t, to express gratitude and appreciations, and to bring up issues before they become bigger. Take a break from news coverage if it increases anxiety or feelings of depression.  17:00 Join the conversation To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. 17: 05 Feedback  S from the Boston area calls in to share a perso

587 Love in the time of coronavirus

What do you do when you have one romantic partner and your partner has none? 0:00 Introduction and host chat  If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com What were your favorite shows of 2019?  569 Building open relationships with Dr. Liz Powell--March 18--17,397 572 When your partner’s jealousy precludes your polyamory--April 28--14,392 568 A framework for consent--March 3--13,440 576 Will poly help emotionally unavailable partners--July 1--13,019 All-time downloads: 7,261,446    5:15 Contact us Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. 5:40 Topic: Feast or famine: when you have more partners than your partner Oliver is in his first non-mono relationship with S. S had said she wouldn’t date him if he were monogamous, so he gave it a try. Now he is in a relationship with T, and S has decided that “meaningless sex with strangers” aren’t what she wants. Oliver is afraid S will ask him to stop seeing T, since S has no relationship partners. Has anyone of you ever come across a situation where you've been frustrated with non-monogamy? How can you manage a situation where one partner has other partners while the other one doesn't?  It’s the people involved, not the relationship style you should question. Relationships don’t have to be equal; they only need to be fair. Your polyamory isn’t contingent upon your partner having a certain number of relationships/partners.  Relationship ruler: is it making you a happier and healthier version of yourself? You can be gay and not dating. You can be poly and only dating one person (like Minx) You get to decide who you date and how you date them. So does she. She doesn’t get to say who you date (although she can certainly establish a boundary that if you date other people, she won’t be with you).  17:05 Join the conversation To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on  Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. 17:20 Happy poly moment C writes in to share a happy poly moment about opening her relationship due to a long-distance move, and things went well! 18:50 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors Thanks to our new PW Playmate, Tom, for his subscription! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

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