Another old review that was lost in the vault! When I listened back to it, I forgot that I kind of liked this movie. And if you've ever listened to the show, I hate at least 63% of new horror. It's basically an Alien movie...underwater. It's a slow ass burn, but you get a decent pay off in the end. I did just buy this so I can go back to re-evaluate. There's so much Alice in Wonderland symbolism that even I, a diehard Jungian, couldn't figure it out. 

Review: Underwater

We've got YouTube sign! We didn't put this review up when The Grudge (2020) came out because the volume was a bit off. Think I smoothed that out, so it's only fitting we end this shit year with a shit review. www.youtube.com/channel/UCfzt3U67-3EnWUM2hEWVwMANo vidya on the channel yet, but that's to come in 2021. If you like the show, please subscribe and check out some of our previous episodes on your podcatching app of choice. Special thanks to Producer Jay for all the hard work he does and my husband, Tall Chris, for putting up with all the bad movies I make him watch. Stay safe and Happy New Year, horror hounds!Social Media:
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Review: The Grudge (2020)

This is a *very* short review in terms of the time the IT universe deserves. Did I mention this movie is nearly THREE HOURS LONG? Oh yeah, this is getting a deep dive discussion. Directed by Andy Muschietti (IT: Chapter One, Mama), the adult Losers Club returns to Derry 27 years later when the murders start up again. We all go on side quests for jumpscares--err, tokens to complete the Ritual of C.H.U.D. Pennywise turns into a giant spider and fucks shit up, so the Losers Club literally bullies him to death. It's like WWE creative had to help out when Gary Dauberman couldn't think of an ending. This movie's dumb, but fun. 5 out of 7 Losers.

IT: Chapter Two - No Justice For Mike,  Javier Botet Does Double Duty, And Cancelling Pennywise For Fat-Shaming.

Because y'all know my posting has the consistency of a meth head, I'm dumping a bunch of old movie reviews this weekend! First up is Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, directed by André Øvredal (Trollhunter, The Autopsy of Jane Doe).Four kids find a cursed book of short stories that starts coming to life. Kind of like a family-friendly version of Wes Craven's New Nightmare, but we also have to solve a convoluted ghost story. Even though this movie is sorely lacking The Green Ribbon, it's a fun watch. The effects are decently stomach-turning for PG-13 and Scary Stories profits from the nostalgia bump. 2.75 out of 5 toes.

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark - The Texas Sun Destroys Tall Chris's Battery, I Learn The Difference Between Ticks And Spiders, And What The Fuck Is A Me-Tie-Doughty Walker?

New guest alert! Elva, mother of Nori Ann from Twilight Zone: The Movie, schools me on classic cinema. And Carl Denham is most definitely trafficking women. 

King Kong (1933) - Hard Seamen, Carnivorous Brontosauruses, And Grating Cheese On Adrien Brody's Abs

This episode is worth listening to just to hear me lose my shit over Tall Chris say "non-consentacles." Billy gets possessed by the Mindflayer, Eleven dumps your ass, and Nancy continues to be self-absorbed (shock).

Strangers Things 3, Chapter 2 - Juggalo Joyce, Rat Schmoo, And Facefucking Non-Consentacles

Hey guys, we're doing something different this time around. Tall Chris and I are covering all of Stranger Things Season 3. I love this show, but holy shit I didn't remember anything from the last season! Luckily, Netflix knows their viewership and we're treated to a catch up episode with a big helping of character soup. Join us as we make fun of Chapter 1--Suzie, Do You Copy?

Stranger Things 3, Chapter 1 - Will Sucks, Nancy's A Twit, And This Is God Damned Gold Leader

Matt Ortiz from our Krampus episode returns to talk about TERRIFIER and it was a blast! After a Halloween night of bar hopping, Tara (Jenna Kanell) and Dawn (Catherine Corcoran) run afoul of homicidal Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton). What follows is one of the most gruesome cat-and-mouse games with kills I've literally never seen in my 30+ years of watching horror movies.

Terrifier - Shitty Art, When Mimes Attack, And WTF Did I Just See???

Holy hell, this is our longest episode yet! One of my favorite people, Scott Mogey, joins us for the first time to talk all things Hannibal Lecter. He brings us a great Anthony Hopkins story and we have an excellent segue into the meanings of justice and what is right. It straight up turns into The Republic! Grab your chianti and your fava beans, it's podcast time!    

Hannibal - Cotton Hill, Cattle Prod Sodomy, and Cheeto Dicks

New guest alert! Nori Ann joins me to talk Twilight Zone: The Movie from 1983. It's our first anthology pick with four segments, three of which are re-tellings of classic episodes. Even better, we get to see the directorial stylings of some of the most influential filmmakers of the time for each story. 

Twilight Zone: The Movie - Helicopter Decapitations, Peanut Butter Burgers, and Something Scary

It's our first J-horror episode! Veronica Li joins me to talk about the 100% fresh 2LDK from 2003. Lana and Nozomi are two actresses with opposite personalities vying for the same role and they'll do nothing to stop in their climb to the top. Find out what happens when people stop being Japanese and start getting homicidal!

2LDK - Cursed Parrots, Crazy Roommates, and More Reasons Women Can't Be Trusted

Hey guys, we're doing a little something different this week! Returning guest Great Scott is known for not being much of a horror fan and we take a deep dive into why. 

Why Don't You Like Horror Movies? - The Other Side Of The Aisle

Stephen Murrell from our Event Horizon episode returns to talk about Jordan Peele's Us! Is it the greatest horror movie of all time? Well no, but it was good enough considering they stuffed a bunch of different subgenres into one movie. 

Jordan Peele's Us - Spoilers, Symbolism, And 17% Less Bruce Campbell Fellating

Oh. Wow. This movie is both terrible and fantastic. Matt Laubach joins me to talk about the worst/best use of a mockumentary screenplay, Leprechaun 4: In Space! Real talk, I own this movie and now I love it.

Leprechaun 4: In Space - Dick Jokes in Space, Napoleon Complexes, and Tool Time

GUYS! Tall Chris is back to help me rip apart Birdbox under the influence of much alcohol. This movie is bad and you're a bad person if you like it. Come at me, losers.

Birdbox - Calvinball, Impossible Abs, and Millennial Baby Names

There's nothing worse than spending Christmas with your relatives--unless there's a mysterious black substance trapping you inside while the TV broadcasts very strange emergency messages. Austin Rogers joins me to talk about 2018's Await Further Instructions and how totally batshit it goes off the rails. Solid recommend from us.

Await Further Instructions - Dysfunctional Families, Paranoia, and Wall Vagina Dentata

Did someone ask for a thick and juicy double episode on "My Bloody Valentine" to wrap up #LoveHurts month? Too bad, you're getting one anyway! Austin Rogers returns to discuss the 1981 and 2009 versions, and I talk about walking the fine line of period farts and period sharts. 

Episode 21 - My Bloody Valentines

I sit down with famous "lost guest" Sergio Guerra to talk about 1992's Candyman! I can't say it's my drunkest episode yet because I keep setting the bar higher. We touch on the politics of urban legends and how it applies to today and how many "Fuckin' White People" moments there are in this thing. 

Episode 20 - Candyman

Let's do the time warp again! Wait, wrong movie. We've got a review of Happy Death Day 2U up this week with native Louisianan Tall Chris. 

Episode 18.5 - Happy Death Day 2U

What is this, a crossover episode? Actually yes! Vegan Chris from The Other Side of Living (another of the fine shows of Eternally Bored Productions) comes on to talk about the best worst movie ever made--TROLL 2. Surely, this will be a podcast that will live in infamy.

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