As an empath, we have a heightened sense of other people's character and their emotions.  As we all have empath power, even if you don't define yourself as an empath, we have to respect that we all have a gut instinct.  Unfortunately, as we grow up, we often are trained to disregard our instincts.  Instead of accounting for the intangible feelings we have around certain people, we revert to the more objective facets of our interactions with them in order of judging a situation.  Perhaps we are afraid of hurting their feelings or offending them, but instead of staying away or denying these people from being within our proximity, we often accept them.  Whether it's a business, romantic, or friend relationship, often the result can be disastrous when we ignore our feelings.  Check out today's episode to learn how to follow your gut and acknowledge the gifts you've been given.

Follow The Signs (Trust Your Gut)

The trader said to him “So you are not dead after all, why did you do that? You tricked me.” The parrot responded “The bird back in Africa sent me a very important message.” “What was the message?” the man asked. He told me, “If you want to escape from your cage, you must die while you are still alive.”

To Escape Your Cage You Must First Die While You’re Alive

In life it's easy to be risk averse, especially if you're an empath.  We fear rejection, failure, and loss so much that we often live in a state of analysis-paralysis, and never actually take a step forward to achieving our dreams or bigger goals in life.  If you're happy and you know it, then going with the status quo is totally okay - you don't always have to be reaching for that brass ring.  However, if there are any areas of life in which you feel stagnated, or you're not as happy as you think you could be, then it's time to start taking some risks!

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Why You Should Take More Risks

In life we often don't take time to smell the roses until something negative happens that forces us to actually stop and smell those roses. After the passing of my aunt today I decided it was time to become more introspective and see what lessons I learned from her life and her passing.

Crossing Over:  Improving Life Through Death

The law of attraction states that thoughts become things. What you think about, you bring about in your life.  Once you recognize this, you can take control of your life and attract almost anything you desire.  Sounds too easy, doesn't it?  Today we talk about what the Law of Attraction is, and how it was made popular by the wildly best selling book and DVD, "The Secret", by Rhonda Byrne.  I'll share two incredible stories of my own which are so amazing, the odds of these stories happening defy coincidence and very likely are less likely to happen than winning the Powerball lottery!  Prepare to have your mind blown.

 

Music by @Ikson

 

Law of Attraction Stories That Will Blow Your Mind

You can improve your life, achieve all of your goals and your dreams if you stop pushing so hard!  Sounds counter-intuitive, doesn't it?  To achieve your goals, try less?  No of course not!!  Put in the effort at 100%, but work on the 1%.  By accomplishing a one percent change in your life every day, you'll experience 100% in only three months (give or take a few days).  The one percent solution is broken down into two parts:  1. Taking baby steps to achieve a goal, 1% at a time, and 2. Changing your life 1% a day to live your best life.  Listen to today's podcast for examples and how to keep changing your life for the better.

When we try to achieve a goal, we often go as hard and fast as we can at the beginning, then lose hope when the results don't show up overnight. Instead, focus on accomplishing one percent of your goal each day.  That way you gradually build upon the previous day's accomplishment and develop a routine and since you're actually accomplishing something every day, you will be even more motivated to keep going.

The same goes for improving your life one percent at a time.  Make a list of all of the things which are annoyances in your life, or you feel aren't a positive influence on your day in day out.  Then, every day, make it a goal to eliminate just one single annoyance.  You'll find every day, you'll be increasingly happy.

Enjoy and don't forget to Subscribe and sign up for our newsletter.

 

Music credited to @Ikson

 

The 1% Solution

Do you find it hard to be assertive in life?  Perhaps when you need to speak up the most, you sit in silence, pissed off, only later to wonder why you didn't stand up for yourself when you had the chance. Especially for empaths, we are averse to conflict and avoid it at any cost, and therefore stay silent when we shouldn't.  It might seem better to avoid standing up for yourself, but I've found that it is actually healthier to speak up.  While I also used to afraid of conflict since the negative energy would affect me, over the years I've gradually found my voice and started speaking my mind much more.  Not only did it NOT result in conflict, but instead, I found people who would otherwise be my adversaries, start to respect me, and apologize.

To become successful in life you are going to have to learn to build your confidence and one of the best building blocks means speaking up for yourself.  Today's podcast is about finding your voice and speaking your mind.  Instead of being insulted, and then going home to ruminate over why you didn't defend yourself, start becoming more reactive and fearless.  It takes practice.  Lots of practice!  With a few small adjustments, and a baby steps however, you too can find your voice and become the person on the outside that you already are, on the inside. To become successful in life you are going to have to learn to build your confidence and one of the best building blocks means speaking up for yourself.

 

How To Be Assertive And Find Your Voice

Have you ever witnessed the career or life of a friend, colleague, or stranger and wondered if you should be "trying harder", or "doing more" in life?  Recently, I was thinking about some of my friends.  The ones from undergrad, spent years in their government jobs and have climbed to the highest levels, from being trade commissioners, to ambassadors.  The friends from MBA have stayed in banking and have become VPs, hedge fund managers, and climbed pretty high on the investment banking industry.  Finally, my friends from law school have stayed at their jobs and become partners at fairly significant law firms. Although I feel like I've accomplished a lot, it made me wonder, whether I should have just stayed in one industry, and one job.  The more I thought about it though, the more I know it correctly.  Too often things like titles, look pretty on paper, but we overlook the years of stress, hard work, and unhappiness that goes into these job titles, which at the end of the day, don't mean a hell of a lot because they can be taken away from you.

Titles are nice, but what about your life?  How many adventures have you been on?  Are you waiting to retire to finally pursue your dream business or dream trip?  Well here's some news for you: you may never retire. Pensions aren't what they were. Also, as you get older, you may not be able to do all of those exciting things that you can do when you're younger. Instead of waiting until the end of your life to start living, in today's podcast, we'll talk about living life in reverse - retire along the way, and fulfill your bucket list items today.  You never know, tomorrow may never come.

 

Music by @Ikson

Living Life In Reverse

As empaths, we are naturally averse to conflict.  Because of our sensitivities, we find ourselves staying silent when we should speak up, even if it means getting screwed over.  We are so afraid of getting into an argument and having our energies drained, that we let ourselves get ripped off on lots of things like fraudulent billing by big companies, to letting regular customers at our own businesses take advantage of us.  But because we can't stand conflict, we often let ourselves get steamrolled, and then spend our time being frustrated with ourselves for not having had the courage to stand up when we had the chance.  The time to make that change is now. Start fighting for yourself and being your biggest advocate.  In reality if you don't advocate for yourself then no one else will.  Stop putting everyone else's feelings ahead of your own and start taking some risks with pushing back on situations that are unfair to you.  What I've found is that when you start standing up for yourself, the Universe will stand right behind you in moving things around in a way that will work in your favor.  Do you think it's a waste of time to spend half a day fighting that unfair $50 parking ticket?  It may seem like it's not worth the hassle, but what you'll find is that the more stand up for yourself, the less you'll have to in the future as unfair situations will stop being attracted to you.  Listen to the end of the podcast to see a realtime example of how the law of attraction works for you in these situations!

How To Be Your Own Advocate

On this podcast, we talk a lot about stress and how it is quietly and slowly, killing you. There's a great book I was reading called "The Stress Solution", by Rangan Chatterjee.  In today's podcast, I'll discuss the book, and how our bodies are experiencing daily micro-stress-doses which are affecting our mental and physical health.  It's not secret that stress is going to send you to an early grave, however it's important to learn why we react the way we do to certain things in life so we can stop ourselves before reacting.  Experience stress was actually a natural response to save yourself from a predator many years ago when we were cavemen/women.  Our adrenaline would pump, our blood would flow faster, so we could take fight or flight - run from a predator, or be prepared to fight it.  Unfortunately, with all of the daily routines we have that stress us out, we are experiencing stress multiple times every day instead of just once a month.  The cumulative effect of constantly reacting as though a predator is chasing you is the equivalent to the predator actually killing you.

Music by @Ikson

Micro Stress Doses Are Killing You

In this bizarre time, conspiracy theorists are popping out of the woodwork.  Those whose brains are not geared for conspiracies, are nonetheless being subject to the truly ridiculous stories put forth by such theorists.  It can be exhausting, and stressful dealing with those who can't accept simple events for what they are.  In my life I've learned it is best to stay away from such people, especially as an empath.  The conspiracy theorists will drain your energy because their brain has not yet developed far enough to process certain logic, or basic evidence.  Before you decide to engage in such a debate with a conspiracy theorist, make sure to bite your tongue, and walk away.  Or change the subject.

On today's show we'll discuss why it's useless to argue with people that don't want to accept reality.  Ultimately, unless you're getting paid to do so and you enjoy it, what's the point of trying to convince other people that a cloud is just a cloud and not a government "chem-trail" to influence the weather?  Why bother trying to explain to someone that September 11 was actually a bunch of terrorists and not the work of some inside government or "Deep state".  Ultimately you have nothing to gain as an empath, but everything to lose as you will exhaust yourself by playing a game of whack-a-mole whereby every time you succinctly disprove their points, they just jump to another or change the subject.

Take care out there!

Steer Clear of Tin Foil Hat Conspiracy Theorists

What is Reiki and how can it help you? In the ever-growing sea of self-improvement options, from yoga to meditation, your options to live a better and happier life seem limitless in this day and age. In recent years, you've probably heard more and more about Reiki as a form of healing and overall wellness. In this episode we will talk to Manali Scott, an actual Reiki master, and learn about what is Reiki and how it can help you to heal as well as give you insight into what is holding you back in life.

This podcast is about practical advice you can actual use in the real world and for empaths especially, this is one you have to listen to! I was a skeptic until I met Manali and she helped me get out of a sticky situation.  Visit her website and sign up for  her mailing list and check out her services. You can find her website at Zen for You

Music by @Ikson

Is Reiki For You? Meet Manali, A Reiki Master

One of the best parts of traveling is the people you meet along the way. In just a few days, you can form friendships and bonds with other travelers that are deeper and stronger than with friends you have back home whom you've known for years. During my trip through Central Asia, I met Mark, who I decided to nickname "Dally", since he was from Dallas, Texas. When I travel, I often call people by the city or place they're from since it's easier to remember. Dally and I became good friends as we explored Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, and Uzbekistan. As a fellow traveler who has visited 100 countries, today I have invited him on the show to discuss our love of travel, and some of the misadventures and exciting things that have happened along the way. From muggings in Rio de Janeiro Brazil, to almost drowning in a Turkish bathhouse, we cover it all.   Join us, won't you?
Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes for regular updates.  You can check out some of my travel videos on my YouTube channel by clicking HERE!
Music by @ikson
 

Travel (mis)Adventures With Dally From Dallas

Have you ever wanted to run away from life?  In 2015 I was feeling so overwhelmed that I fled the country and ran away from being a lawyer! I told no one where I was going and fled to Thailand to be alone and save myself from having a breakdown. It was one of the best things I had ever done.  I went to Bali, Indonesia, then Chiang Mai, Thailand, and finally Calcutta, India for a month and told no one.  In this podcast I'll share what I did, I'll talk about the awesome travellers I met, and the life changing lessons I learned along the way.  Most people say you should always confront your problems and have the courage to keep getting up when you get knocked down.  They're wrong.  I learned that one of the best things you can do for your mental health is to run away from your problems and find happiness elsewhere.  I did and it worked out great!
 
As promised, here is the video of the morning after I arrived in Bali.  I felt the weight of the world had lifted off of my shoulders in this moment.

 
Also, here are random photos from my trip through Chiang Mai (and a few from Bali).  Sometimes it's fun listening to the narrative of someone's journey and then seeing the actual photos.
 





View from Green Tiger Vegetarian House in Chiang Mai




Another view of my room while in Chiang Mai




A cat cafe in Chiang Mai.




Long philosophical talks with my friend Shivaun.




Motorbiking through the Samoeng Loop.




Riding the Samoeng Loop in Chiang Mai




Hanging with new friends and the owner at the Green Tiger Vegetarian House




One of the many night markets in Chiang Mai




Awesome food at the night market!




This baby elephant was so cute.




It was fun feeding them!




Fun with new friends on the way to the elephant sanctuary.




Giving elephants a mud bath.




Fun in the stream with the elephant!




Delicious breakfasts every morning.




Fish eating my dead skin




Foot massage. She wasn't impressed.




Even the cats had fun.




Life advice that the Universe puts in front of you at the right time




The moat around the city walls.




Kuta Beach in Bali




First stop was Bali! Rice terrace while drinking coffee.




Volcano in Bali




First stop: BALI







 
Stick around to listen to the end of the video. I recorded the podcast almost five years after this video and hadn't watched it until just now. Even back then in a euphoric state, I had reached the same conclusion: that it's okay to run away from your problems.
  

That Time I Ran From The Law And Fled to Chiang Mai Thailand

As an empath or sensitive person, do you find yourself always taking on other people's problems?  I don't mind just listening to their problems; I mean you actually mentally and emotionally bear the burden of other people's problems as if they were your own!  You find yourself stressed, anxious, and tired. Depending on the time of job you have, your personality and shouldering other people's problems all of the time can crush you. Today I discuss how to separate how you can be involved in helping solve a problem without bearing the weight of that person's problem.  Ultimately, it will help you live more peaceful when you realize that it is not your job to be responsible for other people's problems.

How NOT To Absorb Other People’s Problems

My New Year's Resolutions for 2020 are simple: I plan to be selfish, unavailable, and unreliable. For an empath, f you implement these changes into your daily routine, you will gradually start feeling a levity unlike any other.

Part of being an empath means you always put everyone else first. We are innately people-pleasers.  I’m tired of that stuff.  Yeah some people say how it makes me beautiful.  Screw that noise!  Living in a big city like LA, if you’re a people pleaser you’re seen as a sucker and people will steamroll right over you, taking advantage of you.  My turn!  Next time I see one slice of pizza left, I’m going to take it, and stuff it down my mouth.  Each man or woman for him/herself!

Selfish, Unavailable, and Unreliable: Empath Resolutions

True story:  the word NO is a complete sentence.  As empath’s or highly sensitive people, we have a tendency or disposition to always be people-pleasers.  Accordingly, whenever someone asks us for something and we don’t want to do it, we have a hard time saying the simple word NO.  For an empath, saying NO is more of a negotiation, instead of an absolute or emphatic statement.  Why?  Because we are so concerned with offending the other person or pleasing them to make them happy, that we avoid using direct language to turn them down and try to negotiate declining the offer.  Unfortunately, this ends up backfiring, as we usually get convinced to do what we ultimately never wanted to do in the first place.

So what do I mean about saying “no” becoming a negotiation?  Let me give you an example.  Let’s say someone asks you to go to a concert downtown.  You have literally zero interest in going for a variety of reasons.  First, you dislike the music of that particular band, second, the tickets are $200 each, and third, you’re working that day so you would have to get home from work early, get ready, and then spend another two hours trekking downtown in heavy traffic.  Basically you’d be exhausted by the time you arrived to see a band you have zero interest in seeing.

But here’s the problem with the average empath:  when our friend asks us to go downtown, we don’t say “NO”.  Instead, we dance around the response.  Example, instead of simply saying “no”, when asked whether we’d like to go to the concert, we answer “I’d love to go, but I have to work that day and I’d never make it on time.”  Or we say something like “thanks so much for the invite, but the tickets are really expensive.”

Do you see the problem with answering like this?  What you’ve told the other person is that you’re actually interested in going, except for a few things which can easily be overcome.  Especially if the person you’re talking to is a friend, which obviously they would be if they were inviting you, you have now done is open the door to negotiating.  The problem now is that with regards to your “I have to work” excuse, is that what are you going to do when your friend tells you - “hey don’t worry about getting there late, there’s an opening act and the actual band won’t actually get on stage until much later, so voila, you’ll have plenty of time to get home from work and get there in time to enjoy the show.  I’ll even pick you up and drive us down!”   or, what are you going to say if they respond by saying “don’t worry, fortunately the band is having a second performance the next day which is a Saturday when you don’t have to work.  Great you’re coming now!”  As you can see, you just fucked yourself.  Because now, if you come up with an alternate excuse, it will make you look like a liar, or a flake.

In the second part of the example where you said you couldn’t go because the tickets are too expensi

The Word NO Is A Complete Sentence

OH NO!  You’ve been dumped.  Your girlfriend, or boyfriend, dumped you.  While at first you were a bit numb and it was playing out in your mind, with every passing day, and then every passing minute, the situation starts getting worse for you emotionally.  You started off thinking:  I don’t need her!  She’s replaceable and I’ll find someone new - to dwelling on her great qualities and then thinking she was the only one in the world for you.  Congratulations - you are officially in panic mode, falling into despair and depression.  Especially for an empath or highly sensitive person, the end of a relationship, when it doesn’t happen on your terms, can be particularly devastating.

Today’s podcast is about a few things, but mostly it’s about how to get over a breakup, otherwise known as the end of a relationship.  While there is no magic pill, employing some of these tips post-relationship can help speed up the recovery process.  And while it may seem like the pain is getting worse each day, just remember, that it will get better, and time really does heal this sort of wound.

While girls and boys, women and men, process the end of a relationship differently, I’ll try to speak generally about the feelings one goes through as well as what you can do to get back on your feet sooner rather than later.  Time is precious so why waste it worrying and pining about someone that doesn’t even want to be with you?  Most of the time you’re left bewildered, wondering what went wrong, but other times you saw the end looming.  Either way, unfortunately from my observations, probably 90% of the end of relationships involve a third party (ie. Your significant other met someone else), but don’t take it personally or beat yourself up over it.  Just like friendships can have a season, so can romantic relationships - people grow apart or start looking for other things.  There’s no reason to be mad at the other person, nor reason for you to be mad at yourself.

The strange part of a breakup, perhaps rooted in biology or natural history, is that usually the person that is on the receiving end of the breakup, is the one that suffers the most.  What I mean by this is that the person who gets dumped usually suffers the most turmoil.  Even if you were thinking of ending the relationship anyway, or perhaps you had ended it on previous occasions but had reconciled, the fact is that once you get dumped, you’re more likely to go down the path of feeling like crap.  I think there’s a famous Seinfeld episode about this where George Costansa is in a rush to breakup with a girl before she breaks up with him so that he doesn’t have to be the “dumpee”.

Anyway, the end of a relationship will send you through a series of emotions.  Let’s go through them briefly so we can discuss measures you can take to feel better.  I think the more aware you are over these steps, the more you can be assured that your just going through a grieving

How To Get Over A Breakup

So it happened again didn’t it?  Despite all of the lessons you’ve learned, hundreds of hours of YouTube videos, Podcasts, and self-help books, you still let someone through your front door that sucked the life out of you and now that that person has found your magical teat to suckle off of, you can’t get rid of them.

You’re left drained, your eyes feel heavy, and you need to do a reset to get your energy back. If you don’t properly recharge or cleanse, you’ll end up becoming what you hate by being a jerk to your loved ones in an attempt to steal their energy to replenish your own.  It becomes this vicious cycle - someone has taken your energy and now you’re subconsciously trying to take someone else’s.  No wonder people like lawyers end up getting divorced so much - they probably do emotional drive by’s on their spouses on a daily basis.  if you wonder why you need so much alone time, then this is why - because you are trying to protect yourself from further emotional turbulence and you need this time to heal.

In any event I want to use this episode to talk about ways in which to recharge your batteries and reset your mood and essentially cleanse the toxic energies that you have absorbed.  What will be different though, is that as the modern-day hippy that I am, I don't really believe in all of these gem-Stones that you have to rub all over your balls.  I also don't believe in planets aligning in order to dictate your life such as I don’t think you have to wait for Mercury to be in line with your anus before you can help yourself.  I also don't think you need to risk burning your house down by burning incense and sage thereby setting off the fire alarms sprinklers and making things smell funky for your neighbors - something especially true if you live in an apartment complex.  The reason I do not believe in all those things is because those are all externalities and I truly do not believe that you need external material objects in order to heal yourself. Because once you start relying on these external things then what happens when you don't have access to them? For example I live in Los Angeles and I'm pretty sure if I go to Trader Joe's or Ralph's or Walmart I can't just find Sage so I can burn it.  Does this mean I have to run around town looking for sage or perhaps some sort of particular Quartz stone before I can begin the healing?  And what if there is a worldwide shortage of Sage - does this mean I can’t heal myself?   Nope, of course not.  The power to heal and cleanse oneself is within our self.

So here are some ways that I have found effective to help myself recharge my batteries.  Hopefully you find some use in them.  

1.  Make sure to give yourself some alone time everyday especially on a day when someone has taken your energy from you.

If you live with a roommate or you live with your parents or are married or whatever, then you may not have your own little cave to spend some time outside of

How To Cleanse Bad Energy Before It’s Too Late

After watching the NBA Finals in which the Golden State Warriors squared off against the Toronto Raptors in a best of seven series, I was prompted to do this impromptu episode when the Warrior's star player, Kevin Durant, severely injured his leg.

Kevin Durant was a unique player - not because of his almost 7 foot height, andand not not only because he was an amazing basketball player, but because of the fact that he was actually very sensitive to what other people would say about him even though he was a major celebrity.  Kevin injured himself about a month before the Finals and could not play.  Perhaps succumbing to the pressure to play again in order to save his team from elimination, he ended up playing.  From everything we knew it seemed like a bad idea in that he wasn't ready to play.

He ended up playing.  I cringed every time he had the ball.  Sure enough, not long into the game, he ended up tearing his Achilles heel, perhaps because he was injured and playing when he should not have been.   In this episode, I explore how giving in to what other people want can ultimately lead to your demise.

Good luck and best wishes to the kind soul known as Kevin Durant.

The Everglow | My Life As An Empath

The Everglow | My Life As An Empath

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