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2 days ago
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You would be turning 29 now. He insisted I listen to Alan Watts, so I do. 1000 years of guitar. We are a stream of gas...wut??? We're not who we think we are. I made myself into a drunk, I managed to find a way out in the Library. Mirrors are indiffe... Details
30:08
9 days ago
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I hear your man crying. It feels really really weird. Danger in immanent. I lost her for 2 minutes. Hey Monster! We're fractals. I made a promise to their father. Details
30:05
16 days ago
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A tone poem of sorts. My Daughter called me as I was composing. She was washing dishes. The microphone was on, so I listened. This life. The trees were alive and beautiful. We're always going to miss him. Something happens...ya know? It's hard to put... Details
31:44
23 days ago
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Stagnation. I asked a friend for feedback, It was nutritious. The truth is not eloquent. I edit in real-time. I use my son's death to go in circles. Funky and stupid musical language. I blab about reading..is that a thing? I feel an obligation. Insid... Details
30:43
10/31/2021
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I have triple standards. Grief is unreasonable. Overdose is a choice. Die for something good. He could have become. I chose to initiate myself as a new person, to live with a broken heart. To be consoled by reality   Details
30:43
10/24/2021
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Right, so I'm nudging myself to make a break from the past. Specifically my grievance with my son and what he choose. There's no easy or simple way to proceed, or is there? Perhaps It is as simple as allowing my actions to reflect a choice about what... Details
30:34
10/17/2021
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What was his name? Everybody has a podcast. Almost talking to him. Major and minor. Pathetic. Every moment is special...Huh... I play with the puppets in my mind. To me it means something, Time is the only thing we have. Choices. Details
30:34
10/10/2021
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I wanted to save my father. Social work and timelines collide. Trauma is generational. Sometimes there is no answer. He was only 17 when he lost his father...to murder. Can we control our thoughts? It's not ok, but it can be. For him. Details
31:15
10/03/2021
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Playing solo today on a little carbon fiber nylon string guitar. I use minimal background tracks. This experience ranges from weird to sublime. I record my walk, set-up and commentary as I drag myself out there. The day was sweet, sunny and peaceful.... Details
31:13
9/26/2021
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Realizing you were never born. Twisting and turning. Suddenly he gave up. Is everything a game of words? Grief is religious. I never knew myself. I face two little coffins...use them. It's a ghost. Walk on me.   Details
30:54
9/19/2021
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I was afraid for his life. A fence made out of iron spears. He gives me some boxing pointers. "and then you gotta have that realization, the fights over" Any addiction is self-imposed slavery. I hear his laugh, I feel his voice. A passacaglia undersc... Details
30:21
9/11/2021
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How may I help you? Are we responsible for our actions? How does this work? I sweet talked (manipulated) my way into many opportunities. I had a pot farm. Private school, gigs, college, art making, steady job: It seemed like life was going our way. p... Details
30:52
9/04/2021
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He died 4 years ago tonight. I recount a sort-of near death experience, with a gun. I gave his car away, his most adult possession. Drugs don't kill, people kill. Addiction turns your brain into a weapon you turn against yourself.  I was and still am... Details
30:57
8/28/2021
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It has been 4 years since I’ve seen my son  I listen to my Shaman, he doesn’t even know he’s a shaman what is it?  what happened?  where are you now?  are we just our memories? say it again. I’ve been trying to keep you alive.  Details
30:51
8/22/2021
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What is you emergency? Is overdosing selfishness? I don't think they're breathing right now, bruh. Not a legit emergency. What is our civic responsibility? I find a man passed out in his car with the car door wide open. drooling. It's my life, It's m... Details
30:21
8/14/2021
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All This while weeping out loud. What good is your mind without your body Meth-head trout are just like us I explore the word "soul" I am terrified to confront my own origins  I speak to an unidentified brother I tap dance around the truth Are we all... Details
31:14
8/07/2021
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Words are how we deceive each other. What if god's first utterance was "meh"? Our experience of reality is not ultimate reality. I face my lying self, I deceived my son with lies mixed with truth and half-truths about myself. I help 3 children bury t... Details
30:39
7/31/2021
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I visit projections of my departure I hear birds  I visited a jiujitsu factory I search for my path with eyes closed I embrace a stranger who shares your name click I face a terrible thought Details
30:56
7/24/2021
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I take the train to where we lived. You became a Pawn in a business model I couldn't stay in your room son.  I confess to bringing you into a world of parental conflict, I'm sorry. I saw your bike and heavy-bag collecting dust in the garage  I found ... Details
31:01
7/18/2021
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I wanted a gun, I explore how that wiggled my brain What if men feared violence from women? What if aliens kept us as pets? Sometimes thing going wrong are the most fun. I get a phone call from my daughter. Who should have guns and why? certainly not... Details
31:32
Bullhorn
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